And if so, how do I go about it?

I have a friend who doesn’t respond to my usual form of comfort (reassurance, mothering, sympathy etc.) and I find it really difficult to know what to say to make her feel better when she’s down. How do I go about figuring out HOW to comfort her?

3 comments

  1. Probably just listen. People aren’t always in a space where they’re ready to feel better. Presumably you want to help, but it can be easy for our own ego-driven desire solve other’s problems to take over. Non-judgmental listening is all that’s needed.

  2. Just ask. You can narrow it down and just say that you want to be there for support and want to know what way they need (listening, comfort, distance, going and doing something fun, etc) give them some options and see what they say. If they don’t want anything it’s probably best to give them a bit of space. Sometimes people like a distraction to take their mind off things.

  3. Just ask “what can I do to help?” and if the response is ambiguous then try different things and take note of the results. The method with the best result is your answer.

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