As a kid I had more friends than I have now. Now, I have a really hard time making friends and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.
My father is the complete opposite of me. He’s always been able to make friends so easily and I’ve always asked myself how he does it.
After observing him, he asks the other person a lot of questions. He’s always been really laid back. When I’m with him he asks me seemingly the same questions. People that I’ve asked about my father told me that he asks a lot of questions but he had some charisma to him.
Anyways what do I have to do to make friends and better connect with other people?
2 comments
The best advice you can get is to put yourself in uncomfortable situations. Talk to people and you’ll naturally build your social skills. Be an active listener, engage them in conversation, and importantly, don’t over think things.
People don’t analyze everything you say the same way you do. And a lot of people are nice and looking to make more friends, just like you. Get out there, talk to people, and just relax and be natural. You’ll make friends. Every now and then you’ll mess up or meet someone who’s rude or doesn’t want to talk, and that’s fine. That’s part of life. Mistakes are only mistakes if you don’t learn from them, and each time you talk to people, you’ll get better in social situations.
Wow it’s almost as if we’re the same person. I would say from learning from my dad, he’s just open to whatever and is so open to looking stupid. If he’s trying to talk to someone and they’re not up for it, which would be a pretty off putting situation for someone like me, he doesn’t care he just moves onto the next person. I think this comes from a different mindset on approaching others. Focusing on loving them and not if they love you back. If you remove the need for reciprocation, you remove the “punishment” of failing in conversation. I don’t really think the technique matters is more of the mindset that gets you far. Even if it mean just listening and not speaking I think helps.