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Depends on your definition of mature.
How they handle something out if their control.
Being able to make long term commitments
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How they act around certain people. How they respond when you say something that could be taken bad. Almost anything.
By how reactive they are
their ability to not be reactive. Imo, general childishness is characterized by high levels of emotional impulsiveness (not to be confused with spontaneity) and the inability to regulate your own emotional responses.
therefore maturity would be the opposite. someone who still feels all the feels but isn’t impulsive
to be fair, this isn’t a very neurodiverse response, just my first thought.
How they act in uncomfortable and/or unforeseen situations.
As an example, until recently I had what I thought was a model employee. They were great at their job, punctual, friendly, and pleasant to be around. Then they got another job offer, and thought the best way to resign was to hit me up on the company chat with “HAHAHAH I’M LEAVING”
how they treat other people and react to their actions or personality
Do they or do they not giggle when someone farts?
Just kidding. Actually I usually think of maturity as the degree to which someone has self-discipline, especially the discipline to be self-contained in the face of interpersonal conflict.
That said, I’ve recently realized that someone in my family who I’ve long thought of as *immature* for those reasons actually displays almost all the criteria for Aspergers/high-functioning autism. Sooo… idk. I’m still trying to process this new information. I find myself kind of angry at her parents and the world I guess, because her whole life ppl have been down on her for behaviors that were probably never under her control, and that she got zero help to overcome. Meanwhile her siblings got actual care and understanding for their disabilities because they were obvious, unlike hers which was invisible.
You know someone is mature when they can handle their liquor.