What is the biggest lie believed about men when it comes to dating?

18 comments

1. That dating for men is the same or as “easy” as dating for a woman.

   The differential in free attention is hilarious.

2. That they’re only going through the motions to get sex.

3. That we don’t poop.

4. That we want to pay and expect sex

5. We only want one thing… she got more than one hole thank you very much.

6. Men enjoy ‘the chase’

7. They all we really want is just sex and nothing else

8. “If he wanted to he would.”

   But anxiety exists, though. This statement completely discounts the fact that men have distinct personalities which may include flaws like social anxiety or conversational ineptitude. It may just be that he doesn’t know what to say and is afraid to say the wrong thing. It’s like public speaking.
   “The chase” is just as cultural as it is natural, maybe even more so. Just because it makes you feel special doesn’t mean it’s “the way it’s supposed to be “.

9. Men’s sexual interest = men’s relationship interest. NO, out of hundreds or thousands of matches that a woman has on a dating app only a few men might want a serious relationship. Most men actually have way higher standards for relationship than for sex.

10. That all we want is sex

11. I dunno if I’d classify anything as a lie. But there is tons of ill formed opinions on both sides and everyone thinks their side has it worse.

    On the men’s subreddits you have some men complaining about women and their standards being unrealistic and unfair.

    On the women’s subreddits you have some women complaining about how much of the male dating options are garbage and how the ones they want keep using them, avoiding commitment or treat them like crap.

    The reality on both sides is in-between. The men who want relationships and to treat women the way they want to be treated are definitely out there, women just apparently won’t date those guys. On the flip side there are lots of guys who do absolutely fine in the dating world and are always able to meet people which shows women are not as picky as some guys think they are.

    The men who have an easy time meeting women are obviously not complaining and there are a lot of them. The women who are realistic about their expectations with men are also not vocally complaining and there are a lot of them as well.

12. Any notion we want love or affection differently as a group. My biggest wish in any dating is to be taken on a date knowing the other is doing it for me and generally are looking to make me have a good time, you know how I felt every single date I’ve gone to is something I’ve tried to give assuming it’s expected.

13. Men know what they’re doing

14. That we be far more desirable then they have to be. Many women will not accept and man who is at their level. The reality of assortative mating means that, if a woman is a 5, a man who is a 6 is the best she can get a commitment from.

    You hear many women demanding and expecting a commitment from a man who makes 6 figure, is 6 feet tall or more and has a 6 pack. About 0.5% of the males population meet this criteria. Women who are in the 50th percentile of desirability demand a man from the top percentile of men. Not only is this obviously mathematically ignorant (there simply aren’t enough of these men to date all the women who demand them) but it shows a level of entitlement that is truly delusional.

    Average women can get used for sex by these men but they cannot get commitment from them. Women don’t seem to understand this.

15. Delusion that every men a woman met is instantly serious about her and is ready to buy a ring. And if woman likes a man after the first date he will run for the second date.

    The feeling that only she decides about the date like man’s will and wants don’t exist. He may like you, he may not – his interest exists, too and should be respected and taken into consideration.

16. Heard about post but clarity? What you see on dates are mostly actions motivated due to sexual interests. “Omg he’s a gentleman” if he is a gentleman then he’ll always be a gentleman even after you had sex or a fight not just on early days of relationship or when he’s in a good mood. Honestly i think people should already be done with sex in the first place before they dive too deep into it then only for them to realise yea “Maybe i just did it all for that”. When you have that off the table, you’re more likely to behave the way you are. It’s like showing a kid a dollar bill and asking him if he would bring you a glass of water. The kid wants the bill and he’d be very nice about it. Well try that a few times without a dollar bill now whatever you see it’s more likely to inclined to kid’s nature (it’s just me trynna give an analogy, kids are nice so they might just do it or not. so just trynna make a point).

17. Sex fixes everything. It definitely does not

18. “Its all in the woman’s hands”

    As a man, you have a say and you can say no as well.