So I (24F) met this guy (24M) on Tinder, we went on a date and it was great. He had to leave the next day for a month and a half bc he was backpacking through Latinoamerica and he had to keep going with his trip (he is from the US and I’m from latam). We both thought we had had a great time and better things were coming for us when he came back and stayed for a couple months in my country. So the arrangement was that we were going to email for that month and a half so we could know each other better that way. I thought it was weird because no one has ever propose something like that to me but since he was a recently English major graduate I thought it had something to do with that haha.
A month and a half later, the emails became very romantic and with hopes for the future and the things we were going to do here. He sent me poems and recorded himself singing my favorite songs, he also made me a playlist with songs that reminded him of me. He stated on the first email that he had deleted tinder and thought wow he is serious.
The thing is that when he came back and started dating again, he seemed to be very into me. He wanted to see me very often and talked to me everyday always asking me how my day was going and how were things in my job. Two weeks later I presented him to my friends so he could meet new people and he was very pleased with this. He told me he had told her mother about me and that he had sent her one of the pics we took. Everything seemed fine but there was one thing bugging me and that was the fact that he wouldn’t tell me for how long he was staying in my country. And not knowing that prevented me from being as loving as he was with me. So one day I asked him and he told me he was staying until December. He told me it made him very sad to have to leave so early and it was a shame he couldn’t stay longer. It made me sad too but didn’t tell him, instead I became quite passive agressive and told him “joking” that this was going to be my last time dating a foreign person. He said we had three months to enjoy and I responded “yeah idk how much I want to involve myself” so he asked me if I wanted to leave things early and I said no. He tought I was leaving him, which for a moment I almost did but didn’t want to stop seeing him. He said he would understand me but that it would be really sad because he really liked me. We agreed on talking about this in person.
Two days laters I went to his house, I stayed the night and the next morning, the moment I woke up he tells me “I want to talk about what we talked about the other day”. He told me he was staying until december but that he was also leaving in the middle for three weeks to other cities in my country. He also told me we had two choices: end everything now or stay together until he leaves eventhough he felt that, for everything I told him through messages, that would left me with a lot of resentment for himself and he didn’t want me to feel that towards him. I told him I didnt want to end things but that I didn’t know what to do with the little time we had together, also he wanted to date exclusively with me through that time. He said it would be nice to stay together but it would make things difficult because our feelings for eachother would grow and then it would be harder to end things, leaving a lot of resentmet behind whe he parted. I stayed silent and he asked me what I was thinking about and I said “I wish we had never met” bc it was true, bc it was a difficult situation that would never have had a good ending. He said that if I felt that now, what would I feel in December or when he left for three weeks. He didn’t want this to end badly so he said the best option was to end everything now while we were fine so it would be a good memory. I told him I didn’t agree but I wouldn’t try to change his mind and that if he wanted to end things then we would not talk or see eachother anymore then he asked not even for coffee once in a while? and I said no and left.
I just want to know what do you think about this? Somehow I feel like he used me just for sex bc it was so easy to end things for him, but if it were just that then maybe it would have been easier to keep things going rather than end them. Do you really think he liked me and didn’t want thigs to get deeper so we wouldn’t hurt eachother in December? Why would he start something like this knowing he would leave so soon? I feel really sad and lonely and I wish I knew how he feels about this too