So there’s a kid in my class (a nice guy) who isn’t great at picking up on certain cues. I have home room with him and he always come to the back of the class to talk to me for half an hour at a time. At home room I like doing homework, watching sports or doing other stuff by myself. When he comes over though it’s impossible to focus on whatever I’m doing. I’ve tried casually joking about needing to get the homework done before class starts but he never picks things up. It’s been going on for half a year and it’s kinda pissing me off that I can’t relax for half an hour before the day starts. Any advice?
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There’s really only one solution and it’s to say that you want to be left alone. You haven’t done that yet. “Joking” about it isn’t assertive communication.
EDIT: Politely means many different things. Try to think about how he feels. Even if you don’t want to take to him, empathizing will help you find the words to say things assertively but with kindness.
Just tell him that you need this half an hour as “alone time” and ask him to respect this and not to disturb you.
You can be both polite and honest at the same time. Something like: “Oh hey, I prefer doing homework in the morning when I’m fresh, so I need to do that right now, otherwise my dad will beat the crap out of me, sorry. I’ll catch you later, ok!”
If he doesn’t take the hint, **ask him for money.** Either he’ll leave and you’ll have peace, or you’ll be a bit richer. Win/win baby!
“Good morning X, I’m busy right now and don’t have time to talk. I like to take this 30 minutes every morning to get stuff done.” If he doesn’t get the clue, physically pick yourself up and move while saying “I need to be alone right now, can’t concentrate.” It’s really hard to be assertive and it’s something I still struggle with but sometimes people are completely clueless and you need to be very direct with them.
If this guy is bad at reading hints and so far has ignored all your hints, stop hinting because you think that’s more polite. Be direct.
“Well buddy I have to get to my homeroom routine now, which I do alone. Goodbye.”