Long time lurker first time poster here.
My (36f) husband (42m) has lost his sex drive nearly completely. He has gained a lot of weight and his confidence is in the gutters. He turns me down more often than not. I have a very high sex drive so it’s hard on me. I still think he is sexy as hell and I tell this to him all the time. He isn’t touchy-feely and we have never once cuddled. Has this happened to anyone else? Does it come back? What did you do to help?
7 comments
Does it come back? Depends on why it left to begin with
For example, my ex-wife lost her sex drive because “she no longer felt that sex was needed in our relationship, and she decided that she wasn’t attractive or really attracted to me anymore”. There really wasn’t a recovery from that, nor was there much I could do. On the other hand,my wife has a limited sex drive due to stress, something I’m hoping will improve when a couple things change in a few months
He should get his hormone levels checked. He could be suffering from low testosterone. He’s getting older so it’s not outside the realm of possibility that his hormones aren’t where they need to be, especially if he was sexually active and now isn’t.
>He has gained a lot of weight and his confidence is in the gutters.
Literally two of the biggest libido killers for either sex.
I have mainly after having to take care of a little kid
Gaining weight in a male cause increased estrogen with a decrease in free testosterone. I won’t bore you with the details Have him see a physician.
The short answer is that if he feels it’s a problem and wants to put in the effort with you to rekindle the spark, and both of you work together to get there, then yes you can bounce back.
If he’s in denial or not interested in getting back to a fulfilling sex life, or if you’re not willing to go on what might be a challenging journey with him to get those feelings back, you likely can’t do anything to change the situation.
Around year 2 of my husband and I relationship. He talk a lot about how he felt down and was in a negative headspace. Had a couple months where he was depressed over a few different life situations we were going through, eventually he bounced back. But it was pretty much nothing for 2 months. I just tried to listen when he was struggling and not push him.
Nowadays he claims he has a porn addiction. He’s supposedly spent our whole marriage in this addiction. So he would flat out reject, avoid me, lose his erection or act weird during sex. And overall became a giant asshole about everything.