So recently (around 3 or 4 weeks ago) I asked out a girl I liked, and she said no. She then asked that I no longer be friends with her, so we haven’t talked to each other since. The thing is, I just realized when we were talking to each other I never really asked her why she rejected me, and I just went along with it because at the time I just thought it was something out of my control, so whatever. Now I want to know because I’m curious as to how I can potentially improve as a person, but I feel like too much time has passed since then and asking her now would just reopen a topic that both she and I moved on from and she probably doesn’t want to discuss again. We ended things on relatively good terms, so should I ask her, or just move on myself?
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Okay, so a few things. It won’t be rude, but it will probably be very uncomfortable. If she doesn’t want to be friends with you that isn’t usually considered ending on good terms. Socially speaking a month ago isn’t recent and she may be confused as to why you’re bringing it up again. You could really end up getting your feelings hurt by asking. Moving on and maybe asking a current friend about how you can improve might be better.
It’s unlikely to go well.
A lot of romantic rejection comes from incompatibility or lack of physical attraction. It’s not caused by something you’re doing wrong. You’re probably just not her type and changing to suit her would be impossible or pointless, because the next person you ask out is likely to have different preferences.
Rude? No. You could ask but it most likely wont do neither of you any good. Word of advice: Dont try to pretend someone you are not, that way you will find the “one” for you.
Just move on.
The best you can do is to just accept it as it is and move on. Break free of the worry-loop of trying to find the reason behind the rejection. You probably won’t find it and you will waste a lot of energy in the process. Besides, finding it won’t help either, as every person is different and you shouldn’t morph to be liked by others.
hey man i say just go for it, you already know you wanna do it.. you get a good response cool you might learn something new. you dont, well youre not friends anymore anyways so who cares, she’ll live and youre not doing anything wrong. but only if youre sure youre coming from a place of self reflection, and not of a place of resentment or defensiveness. also be careful of the response you get if you do get one. it may or may not be true about you, and also sometimes people just reject you cause theyre not into you, nothing you can do about that one
You need to catch her, like a Pokémon, and then put her inside you.
You’re better off asking your friends (especially female friends but any gender is fine) if you have any “blindspots” or traits that could be improved that you’re not aware of. You’re likely to get the most honest answers from them.
But asking a person that wasn’t interested just comes off as desperate and insecure. And they’re also more likely to lie about the real reason.
Move on but good on you for shooting your shot, at least you tried
Nah , its actually the opposite. People think its rude to say why they rejected you.
It’s not rude to ask but it will make you look desperate and pathetic tbh. There could be many reasons she rejected you, even if she did tell you, it’s not gonna serve any purpose. What she likes, someone else might not like so it’s not “improving”. She just into you like that, move on, there’s no point in asking.
How could this have gone well if she doesn’t want to be friends?
If you message her about it 90% likely she won’t respond. But even if she does, you are unlikely to get the real reason cause she wants to spare your feelings or she might not even know herself.
I mean u can ask, but dont expect an honest reply. She’ll probably say something to try not offend you and cut the conversation as short as possible. You’ll likely never know the real reason unless you get it out of a mutual friend or some gossip somehow.
It’s probably the most unattractive thing you could possibly do. If you start acting pathetic and needy you’re just confirming that she was right to reject you in the first place.
The only way to make a person doubt or second guess their decision is if they see you with someone who is hotter and you’re having a great time with eachother.