A bit of context: I recently graduated and started my full time 2 months ago. We have a team of 11 ppl, we all work remotely, but we meet up every quarter for the team review, and yesterday I had my first. It went kinda well, but I can’t help but feel a bit aloof from the other clique. Our team split ourselves into 2 groups, 4 being the introverted ones, including me, and the rest liven up the party. Soo….among this extrovert group is this particular co worker, O, she’s only 2-3 years older than me, and I’m afraid I might have beef with..Perhaps..I don’t think it’s even beef.. Maybe it was a sour patch..
— what happened was, she and I had an opportunity to meet in person and work together prior to this team meeting. Somewhere during that workday, she and another male co worker went through my bag, dug out my brand new tool accessories box, tore them open and used them. I came back and saw shreds of box and plastics, the guy openly said “oh yeah they’re yours.” They didn’t ask nor apologize, they looked up at me, one grabbed the tool I was holding in my hand to use it, and the other stared back “oh we’ll just use it for a bit.” At this point, I was pretty upset, I didn’t like my bag to be dug into, I didn’t mind sharing the stuff, just not how it was done. I didn’t say anything to them and walked away. I didn’t want the drama and I was pretty intimidated by them tbh. 15min later, while I was talking to someone else, and amidst the frustration, I complained in a loud whisper that O and her mate kept on using my stuff that I couldn’t get anything done. Thinking back, perhaps O bent down just enough at just the right time to hear that, because they dropped everything and didn’t even look in my direction for the rest of the day. They held the whole team back 1.5 hour after because they would only use 1 drill for the rest of the job. I panicked that she might felt sour towards me, so I helped her with this excruciating long job, just holding the wood and beam the whole time, while they take their time with 1 drill, she acknowledged the help, we called it a day and I thought we were cool.
Well, during the big team meeting yesterday, I kept on getting a weird vibe from O’s group, the louder group. It was strange because, beside O, I was meeting everyone else for the first time. Beside the common greetings when the manager was here, I basically didn’t exist to them, the little introvert group was more or less excommunicated. I felt aloof and a bit lonely. I kept on wondering that I might be the problem, since I complained about O before and she mightve heard it. Looking back, I’d say something and they’d ignore it, someone else would say the same thing and they’d all cheer super super loud. Every time I make an effort, or say something in the group chat, it’s dead quiet. I just thought everyone was busy during their work day up until now.
I know this sounds pathetic, I apologize.. I’m too embarrassed to ask my other close friends about this, and therapy is expensive, so I hope reddit can give me some insights. Perhaps I’m overthinking about this whole dynamic; on one side, my big brain is trying to reason that it’s normal for a group to be split up like this socially. Beside feeling like the end of John Wick 2, we all work remotely, the cliques really won’t affect my work performance, I can take everything for face value as it’s just work, and I’ll be ok, life goes on…then, on the other hand, my little brain is going off the roof, thinking that I might be the problem, that I’m being punished for feeling upset, or for complaining.. but no one else was around except the parties mentioned, my feelings are private, and I tried to make it up to her, why should I be punished for it.. I think, I’m just so worried since this is my first official full time, there are exciting professional opportunities here and I just want to have the peace to flourish and grow. I’m an anxious person, but I try to catch myself when I recognize my overthinking. I’m just a bit stuck on this scenario…I cant help but to think that there might be something else going on.
Tldr: I think I might have beef with a popular girl on the team, and idk if I should mend it or move on?