When speaking in large groups, I tend to only listen and not speak because I’m afraid of getting interrupted, or that I’m misunderstood by one of the listeners and I won’t have time to clarify myself because others would like to already chime in. The thing is, this is not imagined; I’ve seen it happened multiple times with those who speak a lot in the group.
This is especially hard at work. I do have some ideas but I’m afraid of voicing them out, maybe due to a combination of getting turned down/criticized or getting interrupted or dragging the conversation too long. I’m also afraid of the impression I’m making in the long term to those in the conversation; if I’m making too many mistakes in my attempts then others may look down at me. Thus I just stay quiet. Maybe this is also impacted by the fact that I’m working in English, which is not my first language, so making jokes and adding hidden nuances are more difficult.
I’m just trying to keep things civil, but it seems that I end up hurting myself and losing chances of making things better for myself and the team at work. Anyone can offer me tips? Yeah, maybe my issue is deeper than just being afraid of getting interrupted, but I’m having a hard time phrasing it.
2 comments
A method that worked for me is, if someone is talking and I want to add my 2 cents, I talk loudly to that person. Only for a second it will become a 1 on 1. Everybody will sit out for that second and let you talk.
One more thing, i start with an entry word (but, and, etc) to let everyone know I’m speaking now. Then pause for a beat, to let everyone’s focus switch to me, then I add my 2 cents.
Example:
3 chars. A, b and you.
A: blah blah blah, gas prices
B: Har Har Har, it’s not to bad
You: but (pause for a beat), dum dum dum