There are too many ghosts on Hinge.

13 comments

1. They likely have a ton of matches all also messaging them or get distracted by other higher priority things in their lives.

   I know it’s annoying – I’ve certainly been there too – only thing I found that works is except it for what it is – a numbers game – and don’t get emotionally invested in the outcome, at least until enough in-person dates have happened where that would start to make sense.

   Good luck and hope you meet someone special!

2. It’s the byproduct of getting a lot of likes. When you’re inundated with tons of matches and conversations it’s hard to keep up.

3. Honestly the experience isn’t too different with men either.

4. I have this problem on hinge too, matches and single responses only. Maybe because of the que people match and respond once to save you in case there’s nothing better behind you?

5. It’s a big problem on dating apps. That’s just the way it is. Trust me, it annoyed me as well. The main reasons for matches doing this :

   1. They aren’t on the app consistently enough , which results from them having other priorities.
   2. they only swipe because they are bored and don’t take the app seriously. So they aren’t actually interested in meeting people that much.

   2. Competition – They might match with you, but they may match with 10 more guys after you . If you don’t stand out, you can quickly be forgotten as someone else gets her attention.

6. Women in your age range are flooded with messages. As a young woman who’s been in that position, it’s really overwhelming. I’d like every guy who seemed nice looking and had a promising profile. So maybe 1 of every 10 guys. Almost *every one of them* resulted in a match, and most of them would message me right away.

   I could easily swipe through 500 guys in a day or two at that rate. So that’s 50 matches, and like 42 messages. That’s really overwhelming! Like I literally don’t have enough time in the day to respond to so many messages. Especially when there are at least like, 10-15 creative or funny ones asking me questions that take actual thought and energy. I have the mental space for *maybe* 5 actual conversations. And really more like 3.

   So yeah, when I first started online dating, I often wouldn’t respond to messages. When I did, I sometimes took days to reply (it can take that long to sort through them all!) and would often accidentally ghost people partway through just because I couldn’t keep track.

   It’s difficult to see what the solution is. Some guys say they don’t want you to swipe right unless you’re willing to message. So what am I supposed to do? Only swipe right on the first 5 men I like and stop swiping until I’ve decided I’m not interested? That would solve the problem you’re running into, but would create a whole host of different problems. The first few people many of these apps show you isn’t random- it often has to do with who the app has decided are most “successful” or popular. So if women did that, lots of men would just get zero matches instead of a few matches that don’t go anywhere.

   Honestly, best advice is just to up your messaging game. It’s hard, but finding ways to be funny, ask specific or individual questions, etc., will earn more responses. And then trying to invite people on a date as soon as you can.

7. Dating apps are trash and use men for money. Its never gonna work out if ur a man, and not a 10/10 posing around the world or in suits 😀

8. I have learned women dont have notifications on because its overwhelming. which could be fixed the user could turn off notifications from matches. Then at least you could maybe manage a couple message threads at once. Hinge prides itself as being the app for people who want serious relationships, but many people don’t use it that way. They still cast large nets rather than reel on one at a time.

   when women honestly have no need to do that since matches are skewed toward them, they can just pick from the garden so to speak.

   That being said, thats why if we dont have plans for a date within two days i am hiding the chat or just unmatching, and they can reach out when they want. Then i can focus on women who are trying. By the end of the date you need to have a phone number. No socials no snap. phone number. Or you’re gonna become a penpal.

9. don’t take it so seriously

10. it’s because someone hotter than you is chatting them up.

    it’s really not that confusing.

11. You’re lucky if you find a serious relationship from dating apps. keep trying! but be careful of scammers

12. For the ladies, why do y’all match with so many guys? Are y’all not able to just pick a few at a time that you’re interested in, unmatch if you end up not liking them and then get more matches to replace those you removed? That way you’re not overwhelmed?

    Just curious is all!

13. Facing same issues for months bro