My boyfriend and I have been going out for almost 3 years. We have dated before, like two times in which I broke up with both times, but now we are lasting pretty long. Our relationship was perfect and we were both incredibly in love and happy with one another. I have always been the jealous type and my jealousy didnt have an immense effect on our relationship until a few months ago. I noticed my boyfriend had made friends with another girl through Discord. I was just a little jealous by it but it wasn’t that big of a deal up until I found out that he would call her sometimes. After finding this out, i completely changed for the worst. Ever since then, we have almost been arguing most days for the past few months about this situation. My boyfriend is aware of my past relationship in which I was cheated on and my friendships in where I felt like I was being replaced. He is understanding of that but begs me to stop treating him unfairly and that he should be allowed to have female friends.
We have had many discussions in which I am now okay with his friendship with her as he regularly reassures me. But I now find myself getting upset everytime he mentions another girl and how she looks or jus talks about another girl in general. He doesn’t say she’s hot asf and talks about how much he wants to bang her but it still hurts a lot and I find myself starting stupid fights over my own insecurity and jealousy. Recently he has now warned me that my behaviour is only pushing him away and it will make him want to speak to me less. That has greatly scared me and made realise that I need to change. But I still can’t stop overthinking everything. Any advice?
2 comments
How old are y’all? That’s going to change my answer slightly
it sounds like the problem here is your opinion of yourself. i bet when you’re in one of those “i woke up like this 💅🏼” moods you probably don’t pick fights. it’s when you’re feeling bad about yourself or insecure that every girl seems like a threat.
the solution is to figure out what makes you feel like a boss b*tch. whether it’s going out with friends or getting your nails done, exercising, dancing in your room, whatever. focus on recognizing how worthy and beautiful you are. when you feel confident you’ll be more attractive to your bf and you won’t have the mental space to waste on worrying about other girls.
good luck!