I have a male FWB who is very good about checking in to make sure I’m ok or see how I am feeling when hooking up. I want to ensure he is also comfortable with everything but not quite sure how I should phrase it or how I can also make him feel safe/comfortable. Any ideas?

10 comments

  1. Talk about things before hand. Plan. Ask during. Don’t be afraid to be straight forward. Me being a straight 40 year old male wasn’t comfortable with the idea of pegging, but after following the above, I’m okay with it enough to some what enjoy myself.

  2. I mean, if one is making sure the other is okay with things, you can generally assume they are too. I think it’s genuine and good you care but I don’t think you have to worry.

    You could also just throw in a “I hope that was good for you too” at the end

  3. Just do the same thing that he’s doing with you. Generally you can kinda read each other, especially once you know one another and are comfortable.

    Just talk about stuff beforehand, get to know how the sexual stuff he likes, check in while stuff is happening. Again.. you can usually read his non verbal cues.

  4. This is a tough one because all dudes are different. There isn’t a one approach fits all. Talk it out, even if it comes across awkward at first.

  6. Why care? You ain’t marrying him. Use him until he’s used up, then replace him with a new toy.

  7. When in doubt, there are always 2 usually good options: One, do the same as he does. If he asks before doing somehting, also ask before doing something, for example. Two, ask him, after all we don’t know him, best to ask him how he’d prefer you to go about that.

  9. Seriously consider not having a FWB relationship. It does you no good. One of you will be lying to yourself that you don’t have feelings for each other and it hinders forming future real relationships. There is no real upside to fwb.

  10. Multiple signed witnessed consent forms duly processed & filed in your local courthouse. In triplicate.

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