I’m a woman who’s only ever had sex with men. I’ve never orgasmed from one of them. I have with them using a vibrator on me. I orgasm on my own with or without it. I’ve had a couple bad experiences with sex but for the most part I’ve really enjoyed it and have a lot of fun being a sexual person. I get really close to orgasm pretty often especially with my current fwb but it’s kinda like I have a mental block or maybe he’s just not doing it super right. I’m fine with it because sex still feels really good for me without orgasm, but I know the men I’ve been with took it kinda personal bc I didn’t. And also I see a lot of stuff online about the orgasm gap between men and women and I feel kinda bad that I’m sorta perpetuating that. I really like having sex but if you look at my sex life statistically it looks bad I guess…. Like am I missing out??? I don’t really care about orgasm because I usually have to fall asleep after anyway and I like long sex but maybe I should prioritize it more?? Is orgasming often important to a good sex life?
16 comments
You’re the only person who gets to decide what a satisfying sex life is to you!
If you’re happy, that’s all that matters.
It’s bad sex if you’re not happy with it.
Not necessarily. Great sex may end with mediocre climax or sometimes no climax at all. A poor sexual experience may lead to a strong orgasm but doesn’t mean that one has enjoyed themselves.
Don’t let anticipation of a monumental orgasm or potential not to experience one ruin the enjoyment of the good sex itself.
Climaxes are very important to me, yes. Or otherwise I’m just being humped for no reason.
Have you loved any of the men you’ve slept with? Maybe that’s the issue. It’s easier to unlock a climax when there’s a genuine, deep connection between the two of you.
I have amazing sex. I finish multiple times almost every single time. Even when I don’t it’s still amazing sex because I’m satisfied with just enjoying it. What matters is your enjoyment. That’s the deciding factor.
Think of your sex as a journey lol. It’s pretty common for my wife and I not to always have an orgasm. It’s about the intimacy that deepens our love over so many years. So….if you enjoyed it then that’s all that matters. Over time you may “tweek” your partner’s technique so you do orgasm but no rush. Enjoy your time together as you both grow.
r/becomingorgasmic will be a good source. It is for people having issues with orgasming alone or orgasming with a partner. Could have some good info and more people who relate to the situation.
I feel like it’s important but that’s me. That’s up to you. If you feel unsatisfied, then yes
It takes two to tango. Are you reacting enough to orgasm?
You don’t say how old you are, or how experienced. My most important question is how much foreplay are you getting? Its super easy to not realize how much time you actually need and to go to PIV before you are really ready because you mentally think you should be ready. so your partner doesn’t rush you, your own expectations do.
Sure sex without orgasms is fun and you can create a emotional attachment and even love that partner. However sex with orgasms is so much better. You deserve to give you and your body every chance to enjoy sex to the absolute fullest.
My current fwb uses a vibrator each time so I get a guaranteed finish and then when I do, he then finishes after 🙂 so being able to add that toy and both being satisfied makes it amazing and Ive had amazing sex without orgasming since its super hard for me too and hes been the only one thats gotten me to orgasm PIV but it only happened once
If its satisfying. Its ok despite orgasm or not.
But its a very personal opinion ofcourse
Don’t forget to stimulate the clit during penetration
It could be bad sex. It could be poor communication, maybe direct them, every woman is slightly different. Could be pressure, or nerves with a partner, in this case focus more on enjoying yourself and relaxing, it’ll happen when you feel comfortable. Maybe more foreplay is needed or a sensual massage to assist your relaxation. Focus on being in the moment and not on the big o.
I will just echo what others have said.
You decide what’s good sex for you. Not some randos on reddit.
I don’t always orgasm when I have sex. My man knows he might have to finish me with his fingers as I tend to come when I’m fingered.
I always find it depends if I have stuff going on in my mind and I’m not totally relaxed and not 100% in the mind frame.
Get your partner or whoever to tell you what they want to do to you. Or if you have certain kinks play into them.