I’m always the one approaching people, making plans, texting first, etc. And most of friend prospects and current friends do absolutely none of that. I’m texting these club leaders at my university, who I’ve known for a bit but never talked to really until recently. They’re cool and they have similar interests as me. And they do text me back, but they never seem interested in me or reach out over text. I have a friend who I used to be closer to last semester. He’s very very close to graduating, and he won’t ever reach out to me (or most other mutual friends). Especially now – I feel like I don’t know him anymore.
I just wish I knew how to be attractive to new people, and make them want to talk to me.
2 comments
Don’t take it as a sleight on yourself.
In every friend group; there’s that one guy who organises everything and always keeps in touch with everyone.
Whereas others; despite appreciating the friendships and liking the people, can be happy to just be the respondee and go with the flow.
You’re the sort of guy who is the glue and keeps friend groups close.
Just be aware that most people aren’t like that and keep doing what you’re doing.
You sound like you know how to initiate, so that’s at least half the battle! Beyond that, there are certain traits people find almost universally attractive, I call them ECHO: Enthusiasm, Confidence, Humor & Optimism. Most people don’t have all four of those, but if you can work on developing two, that’ll be a big step forward.
Good luck!