Ive struggled with social anxiety and not being able to converse properly with others for years. recently since ive been working on it, and I now have a face to face customer service job. ive gotten alot better at making conversation and trying to hold a conversation.
This is great and all, but ive come to notice that now when others are talking I tend to cut them off and bring something up about myself thats related to their conversation. this is because I feel my body language may show that im uncomfortable? its like I feel like I need to make them aware that I am listening to what their saying, so I try to talk about something related. I want to stop doing this but im not sure how else I can make conversation
2 comments
Close your mouth and pay more attention to what they are saying rather than thinking of what you say next. When they are done talking, ask about something they said that you found interesting.
I can 100% relate to this. I did the same thing years ago for the same reason (social anxiety). I struggled to make friends and wondered what I was doing wrong. Finally, I met someone that actually took the time to politely tell me that I constantly turned a conversation to something about me. I apologized and explained that I didn’t do that to be selfish, I thought it was a good way to relate to what the person was saying by showing I had a shared experience. However, that is not how other people were receiving it.
One of the best ways to get a person to like you is to find ways to keep them talking about themself. I started actively listening and asking questions about what they were talking about. I never made an attempt to interject with details about me unless they asked. It was really tough to do at first, but eventually it just became a habit. Things felt a lot more comfortable with that communication style. There are times that it is okay to provide input if it adds to the conversation, but that took a while for me to get a feel for when it was acceptable. Overall, just get people talking about themselves by asking relevant questions and it should alleviate some of the awkwardness you feel.