Hello, 30F haven’t dated anyone in about a year or been intimate for a couple years. I am 2 years sober, and have a 6 year old daughter that I have on weekends. Hook ups aren’t really my thing so I was looking for something serious. I met a guy online when I was just testing the waters. He and I connected pretty well. He is 10 years sober, has an 11 year old daughter lives with her mom, and I like him. He hasn’t had a relationship in about 10 years. We live just about 2 hours away from each other. I work full time and goes to school part time. He works full time as well.
We talked for about a month and found a time and place to meet. We agreed to spend the night together and I slept over. We were physical right away and talked all night. A month later we saw each other weekly.and spent the night at one or the others house. He asked me to be his girlfriend which I really wanted. A month later we told each other we loved each other. We are on 4 months now and we talk about every day. We know a lot about each other and though we were physical right away, getting to know each other on the phone made for an emotional connection. I have met his parents and he has met my daughter.
My dad bought me and my sister a house where we can pay him rent. With my schooling and other things established my boyfriend and I talked about him moving here if we got to that point. Recently I he has been distant. I told him that he didn’t like change at all and he took offense. I unerstand he would have to uproot nearly everything for a new job, new place, new city, new lifestyle. We have only been sparrtically texting the last few days. I love him and really care for him. He is very respectable and understanding. We think of each other a lot. And I seems to be the “one who chases” in the relationship. I know he’s not cheating on me bit I feel like this distance emotionally is taxing. His lease is up end of July and hes thinking of moving in with me after that. But I know he doesn’t want to blindly jump. I want to do what is best for me, for him, for everyone.
Any feedback would help. Thanks
TL;DR
He had to move 2 hours after 8 months of dating to my house. He isn’t sure if that’s for him. We love each other but it’s a big change.
4 comments
You’ve only been dating for 4 months. The answer is absolutely not.
There are lots of things you can only learn about someone by being with them for awhile. 4 months is not awhile.
You also need to think about how this impacts your kid. They need to have a solid, compatible friendship before even thinking about moving him in. My husband didn’t even *meet* my kid until we had been dating almost half a year.
Do not move a man you’ve only known 4 months into the home with your child. Focus on your sobriety and child.
You have a 6 year old daughter. Please don’t move in strangers into her living space. This has my skin crawling yuck
Move in with someone after only 4 months when you’re only relatively newly sober and have a 6 year old? This is such a bad idea. You barely know him. You aren’t in love. Do not move someone you barely know into your household. Make better decisions for your child.