im 20 now. zero female friends, zero interaction with girls, zero close friends, just a few friends with whom i talk in college.
last year i realised that my communication skills are so poor. i cant talk to anyone. and now as im going ahead in life, the thought of not able to communicate is killing me day by day. i feel like total trash when im in a group of people. i cant say a word. i feel like a useless 80kg rock.
i have a few stories to explain my situation. let me go one by one.
1. last month, i saw theres a guy in my college who solves rubiks cube. i tried contacting him on social media and to know he is interested in speedcubing too, just like me. we became friends. we talked about cubing, college life etc. we decided to meet irl and do some cubing together. and it happened, nothing abnormal here. we also went to a speedcubing competition together. but now, i dont know to become better friends. i can make male friends till here but idk how to go further. idk how to have a person in life whom you can genuinely trust or you can proudly say, we are the best friends. i had one like this back in school but again idk how to keep a friendship either and i was a kid back then.
2. i started talking to a girl from my college on whatsapp (for the first time) because she asked some doubts in a group and i dm-ed her. surprisingly, she showed some interest in talking instead of just dry replied like most of the girls do. then just to keep contacts with her, i asked her a doubt (wasnt really a doubt) too. till now we both are just asking doubts and i have no idea how can we become friends now. i would say, im just a tech support guy for her. good thing is atleast she shows interest. she cross questions while im explaining something to her. i remember when last time she sent me a message and i saw her name in notifications, my heart rate increasing because it was one of the very few times when a girl texted me first. but anyway, i seriously dont know how to go further from here and it is killing me everyday.
3. this is about my ex girlfriend. yeah, i had a girlfriend. i know its funny and unbelievable but it’s true. so the first question that comes in your mind would be, how did i even get a girlfriend when i have zero female interaction? so she was my very old school friend and she just joined a social media app and i saw her profile. we both followed each other. she texted me first and we started talking and one day she asked me out. i swear to god, it would never happen if she didnt ask me first. but lets not talk about how it happened. let me tell you how it ended. first of all, im very indecisive. i am very dependent. i cannot plan a date because im just too dumb. i just cannot lead anything. and you know, in a conversation, theres always a person who keeps it going by bringing up new topics. if i were that type of guy in our relationship, it would have been the best thing ever happened in my life. everything else was going so fucking well between us. i just couldn’t communicate properly and wasnt very interesting.whenever we talked on calls, after few minutes, it used to be so awkward. she doesn’t have anything to say, i don’t have anything either. and we both quiet for minutes. then she says “tell me somethin….” and my dead brain couldn’t think anything and im like “umm….”. i feel sad and laugh at my stupidity at the same time. so one day i just told her that things are not going to work like this and we should maybe take a break or end it. she decided to end it and that’s how i lost her.
and yeah, just to mention, i never feel suicidal even though i suck at life so bad. i think its because when im alone, i am always happy. i enjoy doing my work alone. i enjoy playing games and following my hobbies alone. but life becomes dogshit when i go out. surprisingly i didnt use the word “introvert” lol.
anyways, thanks a lot if you read till here. looking forward to seeing some suggestions on how to approach people (especially girls). oh also, i never act desperate and creepy for girls. when i say, i want female friends. i don’t mean it in sexual way. i just want some friends to talk to because sharing things with girls feels soooo good.
3 comments
It’s time to reconnect with the society. For starter, go work in restaurant or fast food restaurant, and start making friends with your staff. It will help
Big workplaces (so IRL) are the best places to make longterm friends I’ve found. Also remember to show interest in people, ask questions. And think of conversations like a game of tennis, they hit the ball to you, you hit it back. Go to after work drinks and social events. At the same time, keep an eye on social cues. See if people are matching your energy. 20 is no age to think you’ll never make any more friends. All my best friends were made from the age of 27 on.
The secret trick is ( be empressive ) look … This topic depends on the odds … The more you are empressive the more chances you will get in your life … I’m not talking about girls specifically you can use this trick on all your life topics … Friends, girls, crush and so on … So what do i mean by “empressive” ? Let’s ask a question.
What make the people want to know you ??
In my POV : the outer appearance first … You should be cool … You can take care about your self care like gym your style and so on … Be just gentle and cool, this will increase your self confidence .
Next you should take care of your character… Read books and learn new things about life in general… So you can open topics with anyone like crazy and in fact the people love the guys who are a ” talk starter ” these things will really increase your self confidence and will make you a different person at all ! I tried it and my life changed a bit but it’s really a good thing to do in your situation and good luck!