I been reading a lot on the subjects, people give you advice and try to push you up (really some reddits are full of good people). But I’m curious if anyone here has made actual good friends after becoming 30.
I always ask people if they gave advice because it worked for them or because it seems naturally/obvious. I haven’t found 1 single person who has made good friends (not on internet) after 30.
Plus a friend who reads the future (she read palm hands for years) told me I would be alone all my life, in the sense I wont meet and be with a girl or have long friendsships. Which sucks 😢😢
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All predictions are probabilities ! What if you show your hand to someone else and they say you will be a Casanova ?
It’s all about expectation bias !
Whether you are 15 or 30 or 55 … friendship is all about mutual benefits ! “ you scratch my back, I scratch yours “
“He who is willing to help will never be short of friends ! “
Yeah, I have made some after 30, though it was harder than as a college student. I used Bumble and it worked, and I habitually introduce myself to whoever is new in my table tennis club.
Yes, I’ve made friends after 30. And best place to meet is at work where there’s a large workplace and where people commonly interact.
I wouldn’t take palm reading seriously.
When we are kids, we are essentially forced into situations that just happen to be perfectly conducive for building friendships. Things like classes in school, neighborhoods, After school sports and other activities, for some it was after school care. But as adults, we actually have to actively put or self in those situations that are good for making friends because for most we wouldn’t otherwise be in those situations in our daily routine.
Those situations need to offer the ability to see the same people over and over again on a regular daily or weekly basis. These same situations need to be conducive for conversation. Over time that frequency and proximity will lead to deep connections through shared experiences, inside jokes, and similar interests. This is how it happened when you were a kid in class, this is what has to happen now if you want to make friends as an adult.
[This blog post has a more thorough explanation.](https://anadvi.com/?p=65) And will give you some ideas about those situations That you could put yourself in.
I’ve made a very large number of distant friends since 30 because of a community I’m in. None are close friends for me, though some are more and some are less close.
A couple of those are people who’re the same age and gender as me and we have a lot of other things in common, I wouldn’t say we are close friends yet, but we hang out more, it’s easy, and those relationships have the potential to become more close. I am really not a natural at forming those closer connections and I’m a bit less motivated as I have a partner (and now busy as I have a kid), so considering that I think this is pretty good progress. If I was more deliberate about texting and hanging out regularly, it would help.
It’ll never be the same as one of my oldest friends because we share so much history, but as time passes I share more history with these newer friends, too!
I (f22) met my current best friend at work when she was 30. That was two years ago. I think there’s hope, but you have to be in situations where you can see people regularly so you have the chance to develop a relationshi.
Work