I’ve been trying to get out of my comfort zone, mingling with strangers and trying to make new friends (which I don’t have a lot). It’s been pretty mixed. I try for conversation, but it turns out that I don’t have much interesting going on, and the talk ends shortly. I was talking with this one good friend who I was about to start hanging out with again, but suddenly ghosted me out of the blue and unfriended me, which really bummed me out.
And so, I went (again) to try and talk with other people, and tried other apps to go out and meet people like Tinder. I wasn’t looking for a date, but connections. Immediately, I was called uninteresting and unattractive. One girl just sent me her Snap and unmatched me before I could even get to it.
I also tried to go out and make plans with my old friends. The state fair was this week and was hoping a small group of 3 would come, but they were busy or out of town, so I ended up wasting $16 and walking around the fair to at least get some worth sightseeing. I understand their situations with jobs, homework, and family business, but I feel that no one has time for me. Anytime I’m free, everyone’s busy. And when we plan, they cancel or late text me.
And I try not to spam text. But it’s nerve-wracking when you’re asking if they’re coming the night before and you’re left on read.
I’m so lonely, and feel stupid putting myself out in the open. Every time I try, nothing seems to work. And I get that you have to get up and “try, try again” but there’s so much weight you can’t shake off. I’m in my 20s with like 2-3 close friends, and everyone is off doing their own thing with their OWN friends.
What am I supposed to do? Nothing is working, and I’m sick and tired of it.
3 comments
You have inconsiderate friends tbh. Not even saying yes or no ? Wow.
I’m also here. I totally hear you and how it feels like. Especially having to try again and again.
Have you tried going for meetups? I do that, mostly walks and such. Nice to explore new places with new people and have some chat . Try that. If you and up going regularly, might even meet the same people
> And when we plan, they cancel or late text me.
Have you tried letting your friends know how this makes you feel? People are wrapped up in their own stuff and if you don’t tell them how their actions affect you they will keep doing what they are doing. This is something I’m working on personally myself, it is very hard to let go of some of that need to not rock the boat and always be liked, but that won’t get you what you want in life. If you tell them and nothing changes or they ghost then you saved yourself time in the future knowing that they aren’t worth your time. If they are true friends and listen then you’ve just strengthened and deepened your relationship with them by being vulnerable and sharing something meaningful about yourself.
Join interest-based communities. I spam this sub with this suggestion so you can find more info in my comments history, and I can answer more questions if you have them.