im always worrying about not knowing what to say next. and also worried about not knowing if im sounding too boring or not.

6 comments

1. Be yourself, and let things flow naturally. Bits and bobs will be learned as part of your experience just by being your natural self.

2. IMO. i’d rather have a boring person than an annoying one. there are a lot of people like this that i know., they try to insert lame jokes or comments whenever it gets silent. turns the atmosphere awkward. like, just be quiet in there. your presence alone is enough, no need to make a noise.

3. Have you tried mountain biking or hiking?

   You see the above question is totally irrelevant. But only if you hadn’t said anything.

   Now that you said something, I will use the superpower of paying attention to what you said and say something relevant to that ideally by leaving an open end.

   My point is, you don’t have to worry about what to say, just listen and if you have something to contribute, be free to speak. If not, doesn’t matter. Really.

   Now, if you sound boring, you probably do. To some people. To others, I’m sure you don’t.

   For example, I used to cause the “come on finish what you want to say” effect to some people, while others couldn’t stop being around me for the same exact talks.

   A little training always helps and if you have a friend or an accountability partner that can give you honest feedback would be great.

   If you need to learn more about improving your communication skills, I write often on the [Social Dynamics Academy](https://socialdynamicsacademy.com/blog/) blog.

4. stop thinking about what you’re going to say next, just listen. if you have nothing to say, it’s okay to be silent. the other person will end up saying more anyway. i find that if i don’t respond right away, the other person always adds more. it gets interesting that way.

5. Just try to be yourself and talk about when you find authentically interesting and engaging.

   Personally I find using some sort of enthusiasm and hand moments is what prevents the boring feeling from kicking in.

6. Honest the best advice in the conversation is to listen. Don’t think about what you’re gonna say or plan your responses, listen to what other people are saying and then respond.