I’m a 24/f in college. I’m a pretty attractive female and I think it might be intimidating people. I have red hair, blue eyes, and pale skin. I weigh 125lbs. and stand at 5’2. I also have a really sharp jawline. I dress pretty casually and not sloppy. I keep up with personal hygiene. While in college, I have had a total of three strangers talk to me. Two of those times being for directions. The only person who talks to me is roommate. My classmates only talk to me when we have to an activity that involves group work. When I smile and make eye contact with people, they turn away or just ignore it. People look at me and that’s about it. No one ever makes small talk with me. Just a simple ‘hi’ is very rare for me.
12 comments
There’s multiple reasons beyond looks, you might suffer from RBF (resting bitch face) and not know it, that turns people off from wanting to chat.
You said you smiled, but how was that smile, was it with a big grin or a Jack Skellington type of smile? Those details, while little can make quite the difference.
I mean thats pretty much impossible for us to answer without a picture, but then again.. Its kinda understandable that you might not want your picture connected to your account so.. A little moment 22 🙂
Trust me if you were really attractive you would definitely know via other people. Unsolicited pics etc , catcalling. Its definitely something else
It’s probably the fact that nearly everyone is socially stunted these days, and if you’re a new freshmen your fellow freshmen are very nervous right now. Go to social events and if that’s not enough or you’d like to, join some kind of club. Your RA should be organizing some socials so the people in the dorm can meet each other, no?
I’d say that’s pretty normal. Most people don’t talk to strangers. Especially as you get older. Everyone is focused, busy. If your looking to interact I’d check into group activities.
Most people won’t go out of their way to interact with people they don’t know so what you described sounds very normal to me
Unless your expectation is that others should approach you often?
Is college a more urban environment than you’re used to? It’s pretty standard for small town / quasi-rural folks to complain about how inhospitable city people can be in comparison to people back home.
I would never talk to a single classmate regardless. But yeah if you are actually attractive a lot of people will probably avoid talking to you but who can say
Attractive people get approached more, not less. What are you basing this opinion on?
Most people just won’t talk to you unless you intiate the conversation. That seems quite normal to me. If you want to make small talk, then be the first person to say hi.
I do find it a bit odd that people look away from you when you smile at them. Is it normal in your area to smile at strangers? Some people find it weird.
It could also do with how approachable you look. If you look stand-offish, then people might not want to talk to you.
Is there generally a cold culture in the city or college you’re at? I moved from a small town to Los Angeles, and I can’t get over how much colder everyone is here – people do **not** make eye contact or talk to strangers.
So we can surmise you’re not a smoking hottie.
But hang on, you’re a redhead? Pretty sure all read heads are hotties. I mean at the very least, the red head fetish should put you on guys’ radars.
The sharp jawline shouldn’t be an issue either. I’m kinda into that, and my friend is SUPER into that.
I guess it’s just a random chance that like some middlish girls can sort of get overlooked. It can also be that you are getting attention, it’s just that your female privilege sort of makes most of that like noise to you…
I think what it must be is that you’re unconsciously closed off. Right? Like there’s a million subtleties in female presentation in 3d real space that we men pick up on unconsciously.
Not everybody can be alpha like me and force himself to do an approach when they see a pretty girl, regardless of her resting bitch face and a complete lack of nonverbal signals.
But yeah, for what it’s worth, if I saw a beautiful pale skinned petite red head with a strong jawline and cool blue eyes, I’d walk right up to you and start spitting game.
Post a pic. Let’s see if you deserve a marriage proposal.
So I reread your post. And I guess I missed… you say you’re “pretty attractive”? So your theory IS that you’re a smoking hottie and all the guys are intimidated, that they all think you’re out of their league? I mean maybe… Pretty sure that stops after high school though. College can be a pretty beta place though… How do you do at nightclubs? What about Tinder?