How do I get over feeling it’s too late in the game to change my loser-self?

13 comments

1. It’s not about others, it’s about you.

2. First, start by stop telling yourself that. When you think it, stop thinking it.

   > I will perpetually be behind my peers

   Stop comparing yourself to other people. Comparison is the thief of joy. Life is not a competition.

3. I mean… if you’re behind now, you probably will be forever. Time is cruel that way. The secret to happiness is lowering your standards dramatically.

4. By just being in the moment, and actually taking steps to change the things that you can, you can’t go back in time, but you can certainly make changes to better your future, start the early stages of working out, eating better, read something stimulating, have a goal and make the steps to work towards it day by day, take some of the leisure time that you have and put it towards something productive, if you watch Netflix for 3 hours cut it down to 1 hour and do something else, etc.,

5. The first step is to get off all social media.

   Then realise everyone’s journey is different.

6. You’re not in a competition or race against anyone. For real. This is your life and these are your experiences to have.
   Classic Dad Move inbound: gonna paraphrase something I was told a few years ago by a grizzled man decades my senior.
   “I joined the Army at 18 and got out at 38. Those last years, I kept thinking about what I wanted to do. Always wanted to go to college and get my Master’s in Cultural Anthropology, but when I got out I realized I would have a Master’s at 44, slightly earlier if I could hustle, and that just seemed too old to me so I decided to just work. You want to know what happened? I turned 44 anyway and I wasn’t any closer to that Master’s than I was at 38”
   If you’re breathing, there’s time to make changes.

7. You aren’t competing with your peers. You’re just trying to make the best life for yourself, starting from where you are now.

8. You’ll be ok.
   Just take one day at a time, and make good use of your time, I highly suggest reading. Read best sellers of generes you like, read spiritual books, read books on relationships, finances, just read.
   Incorporate a couple of hours reading, try to exercise 20 minutes everyday, look into eating healthy, take your vitamins, drink a gallon of water everyday. Go to an AA meeting, NA meeting, go hear other people’s stories to see you might not have it as bad as you think. Go get into a dance class, or be part of a social club, this could be a religious organization, or community politics, hiking club, there are so many things you can do with others and even groups on here on whichever direction interests you. Help others, give water bottles to the homeless, all these things will help you. Watch academy awarded movies past and present, get our societies mindsets, our fears, and our victories. Y
   Balancing these things in your life will help you grow and mature on many levels and who cares about your peers, everyone is developed in their areas of interest, so what, your a late bloomer, but you will bloom.
   Hope this helps.

9. Suppose a homeless person was offered a small studio apartment to live in, fast food each day, and leads on potential jobs.

   But they refuse because they say “my peers are living in single family homes, eat much better food, and are already progressed in their careers. Even with this gift, I would be perpetually behind them and would never be on par.”

   How would you respond to them?

   If you take a step to improve your life, it doesn’t matter how many people have already taken that step, it doesn’t matter how far ahead of you they seem to be. You’re still better off than you were before.

   Unlike the hypothetical with the homeless person, you’re probably not going to get the answer to all your problems gifted to you one day. It’s hard work. But refusing to put in the work is every bit as irrational as the homeless person refusing the gift.

10. Don’t compare. If you must, compare yourself today to yourself yesterday. The trick is to do better today than yesterday, every day.

11. Find 1 thing that you can do that’s good for your life and you somewhat enjoy. Try taking a picture and post it on like a private instagram. And so when it’s hard for you to do it you can look at your pictures and remember those days you didn’t feel like doing it but you did it anyway

12. Look up the “kill your clone” principle. Basically all you have to do is be a little better than an exact copy of you from yesterday. Even if it’s a fraction of a percent, you can overcome the hypothetical clone.

13. You don’t. You just start making small changes and eventually you’ll improve. Also, get therapy.