Today I started dating my best friend. He is amazing and his personality is great and he can tolerate all of my flaws… the only problem is he is not very attractive, now hear me out before you call me a shallow bitch… My family and friends especially my mother always tell me I am gorgeous, I believe it because though I may not be the most attractive person ever I think that regarding beauty standards I’m not ugly, again … bitchy I know… but my mom said she will not allow me to date someone that’s ”ugly” now maybe I am a horrible person, but I have a pit in my stomach ever since we go together that what if we don’t look good together… it’s hard to explain without sounding horrible but I just don’t know what to do, I really do love him but how do I get rid of the feeling that we don’t look good together, please try not to insult me in the comments I know I’m horrible but Reddit is the only place where I feel like I can tell my truth. I am very young and I hate to think this, but I’m not sure our relationship will last very long, and it pains me to think that it would be because Im “ pretty “ and he “isn’t “. Fucked up I know,..can anyone help ? Your most honest and helpful advice would be really appreciated. Constantly checking page for next couple of hours.
13 comments
If you feel bad saying it , then that usually means you shouldn’t. Looks in general are just that looks. Love and heart can’t be seen. Beimg attractive can go futher than appearance. A persons personality can alter how you see that person even physically. It is possible since you are im an enviornment that focuses on looks that it has become your focus. You can look good all say and be a terrible person, Ted Bundy for example. If you love him, help him glow up or be comfortable with who he is, if he is happy with who he is and how he presents. If you feel that you can’t get over how you look together , don’t string him along for the insecure ride, he has feelings too.
Ultimately decide what is more important. You can always change appearance, maybe think about why you are truly with him and if that is more important than other’s judgement. All the best!
Well you clearly left no scope of Honest Opinion, when you asked not to use certain words for you (because most will be insulting).
Anyways if you are so ashamed of his looks, I will suggest ending it as soon as possible, it will hurt him less.
And please don’t involve your Mom in this argument because trust me it’s you who sees him this way. And we all are gorgeous in front of our parents/family’s eyes, so not sure if you are really that pretty to just feel so ashamed of your best friend turn boyfriend.
Since this is a very new relationship, your mind will be playing tricks on you.
“It won’t work because of x y z”
You’re anxious. You are looking for a way out. Let the relationship develop and give it room to grow. It will be worth it even if doesn’t work out.
Do you find him unattractive or does your family…?
do YOU think he’s ugly? Cuz if you DON’T then fuck everyone else who says he is. His looks should be HIS insecurities, not yours.
I don’t think anyone can fall in love with someone who they think is unattractive right? You’re just afraid of how other people see you right? Well you SHOULDN’T cuz that’s just heartbreaking.
Imagine how your boyfriend would feel if he found out that his gf doesn’t want them to be seen together cuz she’s afraid to get judged. That’s just sad man
It sounds like you really do love him though so it really really really shouldn’t matter what other people think. If you think it does, then you better fix yourself or just break it off cuz it’ll eat you up inside having those thoughts, and it’ll hut HIM deep if you drag it on for too long.
Don’t feel bad. He wouldn’t be into if you weren’t so attractive
he’s not a person you love
he’s a status symbol to you, and clearly not one you deem worthy
leave him and let him find someone who takes pride in his appearance
Being physically attracted to your own partner is an important aspect to you if it feels important. It’s a mixture of their mannerisms, physical body, aesthetic, whatever. If you love them in a romantic/dating way then you’ll find them attractive and not give a damn if others don’t because to you they’re the bees knees. So if you don’t feel that attracted to them that’s a valid feeling.
I know not everyone will think my partner is the hottest person alive but I don’t care and I just assume people find him as attractive as I do even if no one does. And I know when he ages I’ll find him just as attractive even if some other person thinks ew gross. Idk if that makes sense. Even if you’re asexual I think attractiveness is still a component to whether or not you want to be with them. People are different and we’re all attracted to different things, so it’s less important to figure if the people around you think he’s attractive, or if he’s objectively attractive, just if you find him attractive.
Girl let me tell you do not do anything physical with this person. You do not want to stain your body with the touch of a man you do not find attractive. One fight, and that man is a ugly man that you hate. Trust me. You don’t want to be involved with someone you don’t like. You aren’t happy. You are just happy you aren’t alone. If I were you, I’d just break up with him and just stay best friends. You obviously like being in his life but don’t become a lover, life’s too short to be with people you don’t like. You said your young which means you don’t know what your doing. That’s why you should listen to me, and ditch him. If he’s really your best friend then he will understand. If not then that’s a man who plotted on you by pretending to be a friend to get close to you.
I recommend you leave him because you don’t really like him in the way that he likes you. That is very unfair to him. If you truly care for him, you will break things off. One of two things is happening here: either he is dating you for your looks, or he is dating you because he likes you as a person and you are not as good looking as you think you are. I mean, think about it: if you were so good looking, you would have lots of opportunities with great looking people. Is that your reality? It doesn’t sound like it…
Like how old are you ? You seem to lack the emotional maturity for a serious relationship, Maybe try tinder if you want a “10”🤷🏻♂️
Or tell your mum to fuck off , it’s your life and you shouldn’t let people /society dictate your standards when it comes to personal relationships. You have the freedom to choose
9952856403
Only way to get an accurate response is to post a pic of you two. Lets see it