Okay so this person (who’s non-binary and AMAB) asks me to ‘use them’ during sex. I know what it means but i don’t really know what to do. I’m AFAB (i have a vagina) and don’t do penetrative sex. i know i can just ask them but they’ll just say ‘idk’
what do i do?

6 comments

  1. Hmm, well, you can suck them, do cowgirl, lick/kiss them wherever you want. Ride them the way you want, or let them eat while taking charge.

    Atleast this is what I do when he(my boyfriend) tell me take the charge.

  3. Make them do things you like. Ask how they feel about humiliation and or degradation. It just sounds like you both need to explore and learn more about what you enjoy together.

  4. In general that is a submissive request, which makes you the domme. That is a very personal request that only you/they know where to go from there. The way you ask is how you help them say what they want. Asking a simple “use you how?” might get you an “idk”. Ask them what turns them on, ask them about specific acts you have done in the past and are comfortable with, and what emotion they are looking for: pain vs pleasure, degradation, submission, sadism, masochism. Maybe they don’t have anything in mind but want to be the recipient of whatever fun/scary thing you can put them through. What are your own desires for sex? Are you still learning what you like for yourself?

    [https://humansexmap.com/](https://humansexmap.com/) has a few terms for you to look up lol

  6. don’t try figure out what they want. that is in mind of what you perhaps normally do.

    what do you want?

    and what do you want, if ONLY about you, and not trying to think of both of you.

    only think of other person, if that is what YOU want. so does not need be some version of BDSM, unless YOU want that. could be you give him quick hand job, then go out for dinner, as maybe you always wanted no rush date with the tension of sex later.

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