Am I overthinking on my gfs texting habits?

8 comments

1. What’s weird about it? Is there some urgent matter she needs to get back to you about? She’s still communicating with you.

2. I might be too old to be commenting, but I come from a time when constant communication, instant gratification, being able to check up on somebody instantly just wasn’t a thing.

   I think it’s unhealthy to be worried about somebody if they don’t answer your messages in 7 hours.

   Don’t you guys have hobbies, your own friends, your own passions and lives.

   Isn’t spending time together more sweet when you actually live separate lives?

   I just think this availability is leading to some serious codependancy issues and expectations that are just not feasible or healthy.

   I hope that you are right and that she is having communication issues, otherwise kids are in serious trouble expecting that every facet of our lives should be shared, mulled over and dopamine fueled by likes.

3. Hey! You are overthinking it. But that’s okay! In new relationships we overthink stuff all the time. Especially because this is someone you’ve known awhile that you are finally in a relationship with – it probably feels like a really big deal.

   Because she responds to you on other apps, I’m guessing her texting style has NOTHING to do with wanting to ignore you. It’s possible that responding to texts in general is something that takes energy for her (all the texts, not just yours), so she opens her phone and goes straight to TikTok to relax.

   If things are good in person and her lack of texting isn’t getting in the way of things too much, then I wouldn’t worry! If it really bothers you, you could talk to her, but it sounds like it’s not at that point yet – you just want to make sure it’s not a big deal.

   Hope this helps!

4. Yes, you are overthinking. Maybe she is not a big fan of texting. Maybe she doesnt have text notifications turned on. Maybe you’re expectations of how soon a text should be returned dont match with hers.

   Have a conversation with her about your communication styles and accept each others preferences.

5. So better contact her on TikTok

6. Hi! I behave a bit like your girlfriend. For me sending TikToks and replying on the app comes from the low level of “commitment” that the conversation has when compared to texts. While texts are generally an ongoing conversation, interacting through TikTok allows you to send funny videos that remind you of the other person or just make you laugh. You don’t have to think that much about what you are saying because the interaction can be around what the app presents you with. And the exchange is more light-hearted than via text. I don’t know if it’s her case but if it is, I don’t think you should worry about it.

7. 100 % overthinking. She has a private life and doesn’t need to answer your text immediately. Take her as an example and get busy yourself.

8. Wouldn’t say you’re overthinking. This comes from a place of not feeling like a priority in your partner’s life.

   If she’s literally online on tik tok constantly like you say I’d argue that scrolling through tik tok is either a higher priority for her than a more in-depth conversation with you… Or she’s literally addicted to it… I don’t buy the whole “convenience” or “low commitment communication” argument… To be honest that backs my point up – low commitment communication = lower priority.

   She probably isn’t a bad person because a lot of people are like this these days… But I’d suggest thinking long and hard about whether you can tolerate this as it seems like it is really getting to you and it’s obvious your emotional needs for a level of intimacy and priority aren’t being fulfilled.