question aimed mainly towards men (as my question comes from the fact that my bf had a casual relationship before me) but anyone feel free to answer!! i’m really curious
how do casual sex works? like a fwb situation or something of the sort. do you get emotionally attached? do you *actually* care and see the person you’re in this situation with as you would your (long term) partner? my bf mentioned multiple times that he didn’t really care for his fwb in a way that he would be interested to get to know her better. he said it was just something he did out of boredom and curiosity and because he was single and she was available. i never really understood this concept and cannot imagine myself in such a situation as i put my emotions before sex all the time, but i do want to try to understand his reasoning.
would you act with your fwb as you do with a lover (kissing, cuddling after sex, going out occasionally) or do you just meet with them, do your job and leave? have you ever considered being something more or ever compared how intimate moments were with the fwb as opposed to an “official” romantic partner?
sorry it’s so long, but i’d love to hear your answers:)
6 comments
As someone who “just” got into what i’d personally define as a lot more casual than what I’ve been used to, it’s the best thing ever.
My partner is an adult content creator and interacts with her fans, and i sext with randos pretty much daily as a way to relax my brain, because it’s what I’ve been used to during my single life, and even last time i was in a relationship 7+ years ago, although back then it was behind her back for a time, until i came clean about it.
The sexting is 100% non-committing, and while my partner don’t mind me getting more than her as a romantic partner, I still don’t really dare explore that side of “open relationship” just yet.
TL:DR, I personally couldn’t work in a non-open relationship. Been there, done that.
My FWB comes over once a week. We get delivery and play classic Nintendo while we chat, then she screws my brains out and leaves. We’re friendly, we cuddle, hell we even probably have some feelings for each other, but we know we’re romantically incompatible and neither of us wants more. It works great. Has for over a year. It helps that neither of us is monogamous.
>my bf mentioned multiple times that he didn’t really care for his fwb in a way that he would be interested to get to know her better.
I know it’s all colloquial and there’s really no consensus on terminology, but I would call this a fuck buddy or a booty call rather than a friend with benefits.
I’ve had a few FWBs and they were always that: friends. Which means I did enjoy their company and I did enjoy hanging out with them and I did care about them. We kissed, and cuddled, and things like that, though usually just privately, and not publicly.
There was just no intention to progress to a romantic relationship for one reason or another.
And obviously sometimes this lead to romantic feelings despite our best intentions. So in those situations it became time to call it quits as FWBs, but still remain friends.
For me, casual sex is like a game of tennis. It’s recreational. It feels good. It’s fun. And it doesn’t have to involve romantic feelings or any kind of commitment for it to be a positive experience.
every casual fwb i’ve had (25f) has been we just hung out when each of us have been drinking before and wanted sex. we’d always have a sleepover (90%) and would go home in the morning after chilling for a little bit and talking about random shit. wouldn’t rly text all that much outside of those encounters, as we would just catch up when we chilled
It’s a lot like having “play dates”. It’s fun, it’s physical, but it’s never serious. The deepest that feelings go, is affection and the pleasure of having companionship for a little while.