Returning to religion has caused me to feel more disgust toward my own sexuality.

Not sure if this is the place for this.
I also want to start off with a few things, not only has my pastor not said anything negative about sexuality but is openly accepting of queer people and bizarrely even kinks. So I’m not wanting to put the blame on him for any of my own feelings. My community is also very welcoming, etc. I’m also not entirely religious, I don’t really strongly believe in a God(especially critical of the Christian idea of God). I sort of “returned” because of the community and found more peace within this community than in other ones, like the LGBTQ+ community(not being critical, just saying it’s not a place I personally feel safe).

That being said…. to my issue. I have a lot of problems accepting my own sexuality. I’m a Trans Man, who has been living as a man for years now. I also probably land more in the “bisexual” category in terms of sexuality. I’ve always kind of had this issue with my attraction to men. Any attraction to another man was kept on the low and I would never be open about it. There was always something in the back of my mind that felt there was something “wrong” with it. A lot of these feelings are self-directed. It doesn’t bother me to be around gay men or see gay relationships but it bothers me when /I/ have these feelings. I seem to struggle with any feelings towards women as well, feeling equally as wrong but not the same sense of “embarrassment” that comes from them.
Any sexual relationship, even cyber sex, I’ve had leaves me feeling disgusted with myself. Before they would come and go. It was like a cycle of doing something, feeling disgusted, forgetting and doing the whole cycle over. Since returning to religion, the feelings of disgust never go away. So I’m basically stopped in my tracks before doing anything. It’s kind of followed by this sense of paranoia that I can’t really fully describe.

I’ve basically been telling everyone who might take a slight interest in me that I’m “asexual”. Whether that is true or not… eh, doubt it. It allows me to basically say “Don’t even try” before the chance even comes up. But it means that I’m kind of setting myself up to be lonely and The older I get the more it bothers me but I can’t relax around anyone enough to have a meaningful relationship.