Me (M22) and my girlfriend (F20) have been having sex for a few months now. But a problem I’ve been having is that I can’t seem to make her cum. I feel like I’ve tried everything like asking feedback about my oral and fingering, but to now I’m still unable to make her cum with oral and fingering. Something of note: she isn’t a very sexual person, doesn’t masturbate and hasn’t had her first orgasm yet with or without a partner. So at this point I don’t know, am I just that bad at oral and fingering or does she need to have her first orgasm on her own? Any feedback is appreciated, thanks!
12 comments
Many women find it near impossible to orgasm with a partner but it’s a bit worrying that she hasn’t masturbated at 18. Could she be Asexual?
None of us can judge if your technique is wrong so all you can do is talk to her about it, maybe ask her to read up on Asexuality?
Have you tried sex toys?
That would be my next step.
There’s a variety of toys (at varying prices) that can help here.
You can get a bullet vibrator for about $20
https://www.adameve.com/adult-sex-toys/vibrators/bullet-eggs/sp-durex-play-delight-vibrating-bullet-106917.aspx
There’s also toys that emphasize suction which are quite popular, a bit more expensive https://www.adameve.com/adult-sex-toys/vibrators/clit-vibrators/sp-eves-ravishing-rose-clit-pleaser-108970.aspx
Some toys combine penetration with clitoral stimulation
https://www.adameve.com/adult-sex-toys/vibrators/rabbit-vibrators/sp-eves-rechargeable-thrusting-rabbit-by-adam-eve-106698.aspx
On the higher end, some toys use air pressure for clitoral stimulation https://www.adameve.com/adult-sex-toys/vibrators/clit-vibrators/sp-womanizer-starlet-clitoral-stimulator-109074.aspx?predictive=search%20autocomplete%3Eproduct%3EWomanizer%20Starlet%203%20Clitoral%20Stimulator
Could be she is too high strung and her mind is wondering.
Before leaping into vibrators and potentially building a dependency on them, try sensory deprivation.
Have her queue up her favorite relaxing playlist on her phone and put in the earbuds. Add in a blindfold. Let her know you will be giving hear head AND that is all that is going to happen (AKA: She won’t be reciprocating in any way.)
Have you tried foreplay for long enough, it takes me well over 45 minutes to become wet through just touching and kissing, buy her a toy that will emulate eating her out if you dont like doing it. It really helps to dirty talk too and tell her how much she turns you on.
https://a.co/d/fDz5akb%5BThe Rose ](https://a.co/d/fDz5akb)
Coming from a woman, I think that women should know their body first sexually before a partner can pleasure her in the right way.
I think a first step would be discovering what turns her on. Look at porn, give each other a massage etc. Find out what works for her.
Also do you stimulate the clitoris enough? 80% of woman can’t cum from only fingering and oral might just not work for her.
EDIT: Also, communication is key! Ask her what feels good and what does not. This way you both discover her body!
Took me a while to notice that I was going too rough on my girlfriends clit, so that could help and have a consistent pace she should cum in about 10-20 mins. my girlfriend is the same way that you described. Good luck trying to get her to cum at first just keep trying, once you figure it out try to get her cumming more often. Maybe even get her a toy and just get her used to the feeling.
She needs to get used to the feeling before she can let go and cum more often.
I have been sexually active for 6 years, and I have been in a relationship with an awesome guy for about a year. He is the best sex I’ve ever had, honestly, I am extremely attracted to him, but I never had an orgasm with someone. Not with him, either— still I don’t think he could be any better at sex.
It’s tough to make girls cum, don’t be too hard on yourself !
she wont have an orgasm until she get over her insecurities whisper in her ears tell her shes sexy make her feel like shes everything maybe she dont like your fingering or head try nipple and neck sucking make moaning sounds in her ear when u climaxing dont pull out as soon as u nut put ya thumb in her butt
First, it is no one’s “job” to make another cum – it is something you BOTH pursue together.
Secondly, enjoy the journey! Yes, it’s great to cum but the foreplay, intimacy and sex leading there should be just as fulfilling.
Thirdly, if she doesn’t know her body and what makes it tick, it’s going to require that much more communication and trial/error to have you both figure it out.
GL!
Been with my wife over 15 years and she told me she has never orgasmed, or at least she doesn’t think so.
its not your job to make her cum, its nice that you’re being considerate but its not gonna depend on you to fix any personal issues she has. Maybe you can suggest her to explore her body on her own?
If it makes you feel any better, I’ve had orgasm through masturbating but never with a partner.
I still absolutely crave my current partner sexually, it’s the best sex I’ve ever had and I typically feel very pleasurable and sexually fulfilled when we have sex.
If she’s upset by it then definitely work together to see what you can do; but from my perspective I hate for my partner to think that I’m not happy with the sex just because of not orgasming. And it makes me feel bad if my partner acts like he’s failed at sex just because of that when I really enjoy our sex life.