Hi! I’m in a recent relationship, we’ve been together for 10 months, we started performing oral sex on each other recently, that’s all.
We don’t want penetration.
We are each other’s first and 100% inexperienced, despite that, we get along very well, we have chemistry and we are very good friends with each other.
The thing is that the first 3 times I tried to give him a blowjob, I found his dick ugly and poorly taken care of because he didn’t shave, I had a gag reflex, which ended up “blocking” me, I didn’t I know if it was because i had a bad technique, but he still loved it and liked it a lot and always asks me, but I’m kind of discouraged and annoyed about it, I’ve also been quite insecure about the reflex, and I’m afraid I’m going to throw up while doing this.
The other day we were making out, he sucked me and it was very good, but I was apprehensive about him asking for a blowjob again, and I wanted to do it, I like to please him, but at the same time, that “fear” was blocking me, so I made some excuses and he was very sad (he wasn’t angry, he was just sad asking why) and I didn’t want to go into details, for fear of hurting him, because he always sucks me, without questioning.
He got quiet and sad, so I went and asked him why he was so hurt, then he said he thought it was unfair that he always sucked me but when he asked I got hesitant, disgusted or made excuses not to. I was thoughtful about it, because…well…he’ not lying, he always liked eating me out, and it’s unfair that I don’t reciprocate… So gave him a blowjob, he was super happy and I felt good to see him happy, (it wasn’t a coercion tho)
I didn’t like that he was sad about it, thinking it was a problem with him. I just don’t know how to approach the problem with him, he ended up liking this practice a lot, and I don’t like it very much because of this problem, I do it when he asks. This bothers me because I end up getting out of the mood, whenever we’re making out and he asks me to do it, I’m always hesitant and insecure, I want to do this but i dont want, AT THE SAME TIME, I just don’t know how to talk to him about this.
He never threatened me or said he would break up with me if I didn’t (I’ve seen many cases like this here on reddit, but it’s not my case) he just gets sad, I end up doing it just to please him, and reciprocate, but I would like to overcome these barriers and find a comfortable solution for me, to provide pleasure for him, as he does for me, because I receive it too, and it’s not fair for just one person to receive it, even more when our sexual repertoire is just: making out with kisses and oral sex only, and if we just make out with kisses, we won’t be so satisfied 🙁
Can someone help me?
7 comments
You should talk to him about your insecurities with your gag reflex regarding this. Let him know about your apprehension, like being worried you’re not doing it correctly and the gagging. Just talk with him.
Would it help to trim his pubic hair short or shave him? You could volunteer to do this. You could tell him that you would like to trim him or shave him. I don’t think that would offend him. He probably never thought about it.
First talk with him. There’s a FAQ on this subreddit that will help you with technique. There’s more than just going as far down as you can which isn’t necessary. Use your hand in him at the same time, use his head like a lollipop etc… Also do a search on posts here there’s been a lot of questions and input for women in your situation.
Well, I would say have him take better care of his penis obviously, a lot of guys neglect to take care of it for whatever reason. Another thing though, For you I would recommend trying to take it slow and see what your limits are for that and see what you are capable of doing without gagging, go as far as you can without hurting yourself and slowly but surely work your way into it. Eventually it shouldn’t be an issue but it will take practice. Obviously it goes both ways, so you both have to be willing to do things to make it work if its what you really want.
I hope this is helpful 🙂
You need to communicate with your partner. And then fix the things that turn you off to it.
If it’s his hair. Take a bath together and trim it, cut it or shave his pubic hair. Make it a sexy time for you both.
If your gag reflex is kicking in. There’s ways to train your gag reflex. Also you can incorporate your hand as an extension of your mouth.
For every problem there is a solution.
As far as grooming, have a gentle and honest chat with him about it. And ask him if he has any feedback for you so he doesn’t feel singled out.
As far as technique, do NOT focus on getting it in deep right now. Use your tongue, tease him and pay attention to the head. Use your hands to stroke his shaft and his balls. You’ll get confidence and will likely be able to take it deeper in your mouth with time. Don’t feel like you need to deepthroat it right off the bat!
As a person who has a really bad gag reflex and has almost puked on many occasions. Work up to it. I find the more I practice on the man I’m with the easier it gets. I still occasionally gag like crazy if I go too far too fast. Also If you don’t like the hair on his penis talk to him about it.