I won some free concert tickets at work for tonight (Sunday). A really good band and the tickets were great seats. I won them Friday late afternoon and excitedly told my husband, excited to have dinner and drinks downtown beforehand. I’ve been asking for more fun downtown date nights so this seemed perfect.
Sunday morning rolls around and he tells me he doesn’t want to go because he has to work early the next morning. I tell him it’s okay and I’ll try to find someone else to go with. The only person I could find who’s available this last minute is one of my single guy friends. I give my husband one last chance as I’d really rather go to the concert with him, but he still declines.
I’m a bit annoyed, but after all I did tell him it was fine. Do I have a right to be annoyed here?
Update: people seem really hung up on the fact I’m going with a friend now instead of my husband. I’ll reiterate, I want to go with my husband. He does not want to go. He is fine with me going with my friend instead of him. I am disappointed in him bailing last minute on a fun free date. That is all.
21 comments
Does he not have to go to work early the next morning?
You have as much right to be annoyed as he does you going on a date with a single man, or something close to that.
My wife and I never scheduled date nights on Sunday nights for just this reason. Having to go into work the next day sometimes early. But wanting to be fresh to face the work week.
I’d be disappointed, too. I totally get looking forward to something semi-spontaneous (and it’s not like you could reschedule the concert to take place on a Saturday.) I’d hope my partner could handle a sleepy Monday at work every once in a while for the sake of a fun night out. I hope you still have some fun! Maybe check in with your husband about wanting a date night in the next week or so, because you’d been hopeful to spend some time together.
Oof
Both tickets would’ve gone to charity, friends or I would’ve gone by myself as a last resort.
I would never, ever, ever, EVER take a single girl anywhere while my wife was at home. I don’t know your relationship, but this would be serious boundary crossing in mine. You basically left your husband at home and went on a date night with someone else.
I think you may have screwed up. I’m not jumping down your throat, but seriously think about this from your husbands pov. Would you be ok if he and a single girl went on a date somewhere while you were home?
Hope you guys can make up.
It’s OK to be disappointed your date night was canceled. It’s also OK to not want to go out Sunday night to a concert.
If you invited him to make your husband jealous that’s kinda messed up. He’s allowed to not want to start the work week tired.
If it’s just a friend, why aren’t you just going to have a good time.
Why did it take Husband so long to realize that he’d be tired on a Sunday nite – isn’t this instantly obvious??
People in here are being weird. It’s annoying your husband cancelled last min as he KNEW he had work Monday and you gave him as much time to decide as you could since this was last min too.
You’re also in an open relationship (should have specified so people wouldn’t be commenting things that you need to clarify and defend).
I will say: You have the rest of your lives. This is a blip in time in your relationship. If it was a pattern that he always cancels then yes, that’s annoying. If he’s usually excited and this time can’t make it because he’s tired, then that’s disappointing, there will be more chances for date nights. What’s really unfortunate is that he didn’t consider telling you no earlier giving you enough time to have more options of else to go with.
I’d be highly bothered my husband would prefer me going out with my single male friend instead of going with me himself.
Married people don’t get to go on dates! You are married! It is inappropriate to have personal relationships with other men! There has been a trend on this sub today of people not understanding that you have to quit dating when you get married 😂
I can see why you are disappointed. At the same time , there are times where I too, feel like staying in because I have a long work week ahead of me . My husband has cancelled plans because he was too tired or had to get up for work early. I respect his decision … sometimes starting off Monday on the wrong foot can really effect the work week depending on the type of job he has. I never get upset at my husband if he cancels for good reason. It’s not like he cancelled plans to go out with his friends instead of you. I wouldn’t take it personally. At least you had a back up friend to go with !
You have the right to be annoyed. I see it from both sides. I love a good date night. But I’m also one to wake up one day and realize if I do this event tonight, I’m really going to struggle with the obligation tomorrow. I’m that last minute person so I get him. It still sucks for you.
Maybe he felt pressured to go, and finally got the nerve to tell you no on the day?
Maybe he doesn’t like concerts. I hate them. To many people, to loud, often boring and expensive. My wife on the other hand loves them. She have pressured me to go next weekend, which is spontaneous for me, and I really don’t want to. Yet I do it for her, bc she wants “more fun nights out”… and hopefully i will not kill the mood.
But I totally would bail on an even more spontaneous concert. She can take a friend I wouldn’t care. But I wouldn’t be any fun to have there.
Fun thing is she’s the one with anxiety. I just don’t like drunk and loud people
What band??
You say you are trying to have fun date nights. Is this to spice up your relationship? You say your in an open relationship. Could he be over distracted elsewhere or loosing interest in your relationship? Then I guess by your intentions to have fun date nights. You are sensing this.
If this band is one he likes? He would surely forsake a couple of hours sleep to be with you.
How is a single guy friend even an option…solo seems a better choice
You have a right to be annoyed here.
I’d be annoyed to. I assume he works the same time every Monday morning so when you told him on Friday night, he should have known he may be extra tired on Monday. Hope you had fun with your friend at least!
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry that your husband didn’t want to join in on something that you were excited about, and, no judgement or anything, but I find the idea of a one on one activity with someone of the opposite gender odd if you’re married. I’d nevvver hang out alone with another woman. That’s just me
Working adults get tired. Don’t be annoyed at him for it.
Does your husband have depression? Maybe undiagnosed? There are many times when plans are made in advance I really wanna go but then when it’s time to go, I struggle to find the energy to do anything. Perhaps this is something you should look into?