::UPDATE:: OP https://www.reddit.com/r/Marriage/comments/x2eo3r/almost_a_decade_and_i_feel_nothing/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Thank you few who commented on the original post. I’ve been trying to figure things out and he is being very overbearing with “trying to fix things” (extra affection, romantic gestures, feeling the need to be by my side literally all the time) and I feel it’s having the opposite affect. He’s been sticking with therapy and it’s been determined that he is very heavily codependent on me. I told him multiple times I need space to figure shit out, that I can’t think clearly when everything feels stacked on top of me literally at all times. He says he’s sorry but he is just scared.
But like….I’M scared. I am used to being someone who can find direction to achieve the things I want for myself and my future. But now I feel like I have no idea where I’m going or how I’m getting there.
So I decided I’m going home to stay with my family for a few weeks this month. (We live in PA, I’m originally from WV and that’s where my family is)
It feels terrible cause this just makes him more scared but I look and feel like shit every single day. I need to have time to at the very least take care of myself and at most have enough peace to be able to think and feel things more clearly, because at this point I just feel numb.
Will update again after my time away.