Husband has chlamydia and I do not

19 comments

1. No, you’re not going to get chlamydia from a “toilet seat” or whatever other misinformation that is commonly spread around. Chlamydia is pretty strictly transmitted by unprotected sexual contact.

   ETA: There are three possible scenarios: your test was a false negative, you happened to not get it from him despite having unprotected sex, or he cheated.

   Given you testing negative, my money is on him cheating on you while at basic after the last time you visited him. I’d get another test to verify that it wasn’t a false negative.

2. I’m not knowledgeable enough about chlamydia to speak to the chances of him having it all along, or getting it from something else, or whether he had to have cheated — you should just straight up ask you doctor what’s possible. Another possibility is false positives, but if he was having symptoms, that seems unlikely.

   But, it’s common for cheaters to suggest the other person is cheating. It’s the only way to have a “plausible” story, because it was either them or you in their minds and they try to distance themselves from it being them.

3. It’s pretty rare for a man to have an STD and his female partner to not, as infection rates in straight men are much lower than those in straight women.

   Technically, yes. You can get chlamydia without sex. An infected person could, say, use a towel to dry their genitals, then your husband could have used the same towel. Theoretically, you could share a drinking utensil with someone ad contract it.

   That said, I’ve only ever heard of someone actually getting it from sex. Relationship was already rocky, couple is separated by months and miles? Ugh.

   Keep in mind that chlamydia is usually almost symptom free in men. So he could have had it for some time now to be bleeding and whatnot.

   Realistically, he almost certainly has it due to unprotected sex with an infected person. You should get tested, and you should really insist on a clean std panel from him before you have sex again.

4. I’m ex Army and while it is borderline impossible to hook up during basic training, the second 8 week phase called AIT has a lot more freedom before you get to be allowed to have family visit. Prior to you being permitted to visit, he was allowed unsupervised roaming of the post during limited free hours and eventually off post privileges as well. For example when I attended years ago we were allowed to go off post all day on Saturday as long as we were back for evening formation.

   There is 0% stopping him from meeting someone & going to their house or skipping off with another trainee to a hotel room during those free times. LOTS of sex happens at AIT.

   I say all that to say that if you didn’t cheat, the chlamydia didn’t magically appear.
   Going in to basic training he would have had a battery of testing done including std testing and getting his balls felt up by the dr. If he had chlamydia prior to joining it most likely would have been caught during initial screenings.

   My assumption would be that he has cheated on you while in training in the past few weeks.

5. Chlamydia can be dormant for a very long time. So in theory he could have had it since before you met if he didn’t get tested since.

   An ex (m) of mine (f) also had it and I never got it despite having sex without condom. You might want to get another test (especially if you want kids eventually).

6. This exact thing happened to me. I for some reason was lucky not to get it but the urgent care gave me a shot just in case. Turned out my boyfriend had been desperately holding on to a lie that he had not cheated while he had actually been cheating on me for months. When he finally admitted it, he was so mad that the girl he had been fucking had been lying to him about fucking other dudes! Lol you can imagine how pissed I was

7. Well you should’ve tested first. Sex is dangerous act. It’s not something to mess around with. That’s why minors aren’t allowed to engage in such act. Many viruses can be transmitted through such an act. If you already had sex than you might have obvious symptoms are some symptoms that don’t show. You both had sex at his place also without protection and he started bleeding. You not SEEING your symptoms doesn’t mean you don’t have STD AND UTI. After he got his results he accused you of cheating. You have it clear. You are unsure if he has it. Panicking is not an option we have right now. Get it together and google more symptoms of STDs. Use your brain and find any evidence to show you weren’t cheating. Chlamydia can be transmitted any type of way including by:

   1. Sexual interaction 1 (kissing)
   2. Sexually oral 2 (genital interaction by mouth)
   3. Sexual Penetration 3 (penis inside vagina)

   Those are the only ways you could get Chlamydia. By being sexually active without protection. This is both of you guys fault. Now you’ll deal with serious health consequences but I wish you luck to recover from them soon.

8. OP I saw your other post in relationship advice and… 🚩🚩🚩

   Do you really want to be with this person? He sounds, and I don’t say this lightly, like a fucking awful person

9. why would you continually go bareback with someone without test results

10. I’m just gonna say with 100% surety that he cheated.
    There is literally no other reason. Sorry op.

11. I have heard stories of men sharing fleshlights before. Im not sure if it can be transmitted that way, but if he used one that wasn’t cleaned properly, maybe there’s a chance that happened and he’s too embarassed to admit it

12. Now men can have chlamydia dormant for years. However, he had a full physical before basic and sti panel would have been done. He would have been on the antibiotics before you saw him if it was dormant. So the logical conclusion you can make is he slept with someone before he saw you. Whether you count it as cheating depends on the relationship ( I personally would). If he keeps denying it and putting the blame on you then he is gaslighting you. Sorry 😢 you have to have that chat.

13. He screwed up royally. The only silver lining here for you is that now that he is enlisted, the military will absolutely reem him to the bone when it comes time for the dividing of assets and spousal support. They do not look favorably upon soldiers betraying ANY oath, not just the one they signed to enlist. I’m sorry you’re going through this and wish you grace & strength as you navigate this chapter in your life.

14. They do an STD screen when they arrive at basic. So he contracted it while he was in. You don’t have it because he got it from someone else. He cheated.

    After basic they go to their MOS school. A lot of them cheat there. They have plenty of opportunity.

15. Girl he cheated

16. It’s unlikely he had the time and freedom to have sex at Basic Training. That said, it seems unlikely he would be an asymptomatic carrier for months and then randomly become symptomatic. Get tested again in a week or two.

17. Your post history is a fucking nightmare. Jesus Christ.

18. He might have cheated. He might have not.
    I am not sure about clamydia, but my boyfriend had HPV virus that is transmitted same as clamydia.
    He’s been in the army for 1.5 years and I am quite sure he didn’t cheat.
    I got tested and was negative.
    It was weird for us because nobody cheated.
    The only explanation from the doctors was that the virus may stay dormant for years, in me or in him, from other precious partners.
    During his time at the Army, his immune system was weaker due to bad food and training and that’s when the virus appeared, attacking the system.
    We are not sure why I don’t have it explicitly.
    The point is: he might have cheated, but take into account possibilities such as mine.

19. I’m going for the most obvious answer, and say that he probably cheated. And there’s obvious signs to the narrative.