Nearly 2 Week Update: I am leaving my fiancé of 8 years

Hey everyone, just want to give a quick 2 week update. Nothing has changed with my ex and we have gone no contact per my request. I have been pretty depressed and upset lately due to everything but I have read some comments on here and I have to say many of you cheered me up. Especially on a, I guess an update sub, where they take stories ands share them there (this is the thread my ex found and sent me). I read one thread of comments by some women that brought me to tears. They were saying who they were glad that there are men who are confident enough to wear makeup and jewelry and other things like I do and think it is sexy. I don’t remember the exact quote but one said that she think it shows his masculinity and that it is attractive to be confident in himself to know worry about what others think and does what makes him happy. I just want you to know you brought me to tears ands made me feel better on some of my worse days so far and thank you so much for your comment.

Anyway, not much has happened so far. I do have to go into the office this week for some business so wish me luck. But anyway, this last weekend was really really hard. There was nothing to do for the wedding and since Friday was October 1st and fall/Halloween is my favorite time of year I was pretty depressed. I am usually decorating with my ex and getting everything setup and ready. Plus, going to local haunted houses and mazes, not to mention spending too much money on Halloween stuff lol. Anyway Friday night I get a call from a good friend from high school. She calls me to let me know she is so sorry that my ex cheated on me. I said thank you, but then caught the “cheating” part. I have never told anyone and neither has my one friend and his wife or my brother. I asked huh? She then goes on to tell me the full story.

To make it quick I guess when people got the messages from my brother about our change of heart on the wedding, and I guess my ex’s extended family and friends were ecstatic. To be frank many were basically saying that they were glad we separated and that my ex deserved better. They were saying things like it is about time she woke up and left his ass and that then some even said I bet he cheated on her too. I guess my ex saw all these things and then put a big message out for them all to see. I don’t know the exact what she did but I guess my ex admitted to her cheating, and the details. Even mentioned the evidence and how I would never show it to anyone. Then proceeded to say that she is glad that she now knows who is honest in her family and friends and that she now knows to cut off 95% of the people in her life (not her mother or father \[they are not happy about us ending and actually loved me\]). That really hurt to know because I honestly thought my ex’s extended family and friends liked me. But once again I was a fool.

So, my friend said that we are all going out tonight. I told her I don’t really feel like going. She said we are going ands for me to get ready and they will be there in a hour. So, I got shower and put on some jeans and a shirt. They showed up and asked what was I wearing. For some detail I grew up in mid sized farm community. I have friends who are farm boys/girls, I know weird considering who I am, and of the more eccentric crowd I suppose. My good female friends and the ones husbands and the others wife showed up. To say I haven’t been the most confident is an understatement. I had nothing like I usually do and just haven’t felt like it. They said bullshit were getting you ready. So they come in and procced to get me dressed up, my hair done, and my makeup done. It was a lot fun to be honest. I haven’t done this with them in a long time and I really enjoyed our time. Haven’t been able to do this with them since college.

Over an hour later, I couple other friends and my buddy and his wife show up. My buddy is actually a farm boy so people think it is weird we are such good friends lol. They had me dressed in less than gender norm clothing and we didn’t even go out lol. We ordered in food, played games, danced/listened to music and had just a lot of fun. My buddy even said “I haven’t seen you smile like this in a long time”. We all hung out and just had fun, no alcohol (I’m done with that shit). We all passed out at my house and then everyone got up and left an said we need to do this more often. I am glad they came over because I needed this.

So, I know a small update, but I just am glad I have some good friends who love me for me. Thank you all for the kind words and support over the last couple weeks.