Is there anything that justifies breaking up with your partner while they are going through a miscarriage with your child?

To start off with, I (29f) am the one going through the miscarriage. I’m not sure if this is even the best place for me to post this but I’m really struggling right now, don’t feel ready to discuss it with any of the people in my life just yet, and just feel like I need some other thoughts so I don’t keep second guessing myself and everything into oblivion.

As the title would suggest, I’m in the process of an early stage miscarriage. Though it was a surprise since I was not on birth control and it was not necessarily happening in the best circumstances or the way I would have planned, it was a pregnancy I had wanted to keep and had grown attached to in a way. My bf (29m) was extremely happy and excited about the pregnancy and began telling a bunch of people right away even though I asked him not to. What’s happened is exactly why I didn’t want to tell people right away, but he would tell me I have the wrong attitude and would blame my faith and my family for this “wrong attitude” because my parents are pretty practicing and in our family and in our faith getting pregnant before marriage is a huge no-no.

For obvious reasons I’ve already been struggling through this loss and a roller coaster of emotions. My bf for some reason thought this would be the best time to bring up the fact that he decided to give his landlord notice for the last day of November and that he would be leaving the area and asked what I want to do. There are a lot of complicated aspects to our relationship that we had been trying to work through (interfaith, different cultural/ethnic backgrounds etc) which I probably can’t completely get to here. I had always told him that I don’t want to live together until we’re married, this has been an ongoing decision, and the argument became about how he never wants to get married (which I did not know) and unless I move in with him now then he thinks the relationship is over. He says he’s tired of waiting for this relationship to be “normal”, to him this basically means doing things how all of his friends and the majority of people in his life do. But to me “normal” is different since I’m from a different culture and faith background, and so it’s never going to be “normal” in the same a way as everyone else. And we’re going to have to come to agreements and compromises to get to our own version of “normal”.

To me getting married is very important due to faith and because it’s something I’ve always wanted. When I asked him if he’s saying he just wants me to be ok with never getting married, he said that marriage is just very serious and he would need to make sure to cross all t’s and dot all i’s first. And I bring up the fact that having a child with someone is much much more serious than getting married, that ties you to someone for the rest of your lives, unlike marriage. And you’re bringing another life into this world and I would imagine you’d want to be Extra sure that the parent of your child is a good one. And he was verrry excited about having a child together. I’ve also told him I have no issues with a pre-nup if that’s the issue. I’m the more financially well-off one between the two of us, so I would probably consider one either way. And then he said, though he is an atheist, in Mexican Catholic culture people don’t and can’t just divorce after getting married, so you have to be extra careful. But again he’s very vocal about how “religion is stupid” and the traditional cultural practices that I like and want to uphold are ridiculous, so I don’t see why that would matter. Anyway, the conversation ends with him saying we won’t figure it all out in one night and we’ll talk more later and to get some rest. This was Thursday night.

The next day I wake up to find he slept on the couch and he is basically ignoring me and not speaking to me, clearly upset. I have a court hearing in the afternoon which initially I was going to attend virtually from his apartment but I decided to just take from my apartment because I find it hard to focus with him walking around and ignoring me. I tell him that I am going to leave for a bit and give him space and he says fine.

It is also my birthday in a few days and we had plans on Monday evening, the day before my birthday, to go to a football game. Later that evening before I am about to give a presentation for a work event he texts me and says to make other plans for Monday night. I ask if he’s saying he doesn’t want me at the game and he says yes, and that if I’m still taking a half day on Monday like I was planning to then I can come get my things then and that he doesn’t want to deal with this anymore.
I am slightly confused and taken aback by this because that conversation ended with him saying we’re not going to figure this out all in one night. But not entirely taken aback because this isn’t really the first time he has said something like this and, he has essentially held the relationship hostage in other instances. I guess what is really unbelievable to me in this case is that he is doing this while I am going through a pregnancy loss of OUR child, knowing and seeing just how difficult this has been for me. I had told him just a few hours before this conversation that only person I want to go through this with is him.

I get that differences in faith and culture can be complicated, difficult and stressful to work through. I get that it’s frustrating to deal with. So I’ve been feeling a lot of guilt for even entering into this relationship or like I ruined his life or hold him back from being happy, because of things that were said and alluded to during this conversation. But I’m also angry that he’s really doing all this when I’m at emotional capacity trying to deal with this other loss I’m experiencing on top of an extremely stressful job where I currently have a lot going on (I work with Asylees and refugees and others with a great deal of trauma). I’m second guessing myself a lot here I guess. Because this isn’t exactly the first time he’s said or done something like this, I’m not entirely sure if he’s going to come back later and say he doesn’t actually want to break-up. I just don’t see how his actions here can be justified but I also don’t know if I just have blinders on right now

Sorry for all this rambling Reddit, I just don’t even know how to feel and am just struggling with a lot right now.

TLDR: My bf of 2.5 years broke up with me while I am going through a miscarriage, and I’m struggling with how to handle this and also going through a lot of different emotions. If he later says something like he was just angry and frustrated and doesn’t actually want to break up (which has happened) is this even salvageable after the above actions? Is there anything that can justify doing something like this, or is this just him showing me that he doesn’t actually care?