How much money do you expect someone you’re potentially considering dating to make?

29 comments

1. Enough to be able to support themselves. If you don’t work out you don’t want the guilt trip of “what am I going to do now” because they can’t afford to.

2. I care more about debt to income ratio or potential earnings later on in life. If a girl makes 15 an hour but has no debt vs a girl who makes 15 an hour but has 50k debt. OR a girl who makes 15 an hour with potential to make 35+ later on in life vs a girl who makes 15 an hour with capped out potential.

   A lot more nuanced than just “Is this person poor?”

3. I have no expectations. It really depends on their situation though.

4. I dont have a set amount. However as I am late 30s, own my own house, car, and a manager at a good business, I expect someone I’m dating to have his life together same as me.

5. I’m looking for an equal, so that’d mean someone who makes a similar amount to me. If it skews too much in one direction, I feel like it has the potential to throw off the power dynamic in a relationship.

6. It’s situational. I’d prefer if they can take care of themselves, but I know how it is to be in student loan debt and have no place to argue that one. Lol

7. The same or more than me, but preferably not an exorbitant amount unless I can truly trust the other person because, as another person pointed out, the power dynamic.

8. He just gotta have a job and its already enough, I don’t really care how much he makes.

9. Speaking as someone who got into debt partially due to a toxic relationship, I honestly don’t blame someone looking at my financial situation as a “red flag”. I’m working on clearing my debt 100% so that I’m in a best state to date again. Now, what I’d expect, honestly as long as you have a job that’s all I care for . Obviously if your smart with your money is a big thing as well, but I’m not gonna make it a deciding factor. If me and a women in the future click and gel well together, that’s all that matters to me

10. I don’t care what you make, but you better not have 250k in student loan debt. I’m not one to get married ever, but even still, ain’t doing it.

11. Enough to take care of themselves. I do fine and am in a comfortable financial position I don’t need help on my bills, but I don’t want to completely take care of someone.

12. Enough to pay their own bills, on time .

13. As a man, I don’t care how much the woman I’m dating is making. I’m not going to be spending it and as far as dates go, I’m paying 90%

14. Idc. As long as she has her debt to income ratio under control, it doesn’t matter to me.

15. The same as me at least. However, I care more about the debt situation and money management

16. “Expect”? Pfffff, like at least a little, probably? ‘Cos most adults do make some and I’m not looking for college-aged boys.

    (BTW, I take the word “expect” literally. It does not mean desire. Society sets up literal expectations.)

    It’s not important to me. I’ve romanticized struggling-plebe love since my teens.

    FYI, some people aren’t lazy or lacking ambition, just disabled or overly passionate artist hippies or something. Compassion’s important in deserving love. ✌🏻🕊💚💖

17. Oh what do I care as long as they’re paying their own bills
    I mean if we’re just dating I don’t need to know how much they make

18. I care more about spending habits.

19. Adding another voice to the “enough money to support himself” chorus. I consider it a nice touch if he is willing/able to spend money on nice things like occasional nice restaurants or vacations. His share, I’m not expecting him to fund me, it would just be nice not to have to fund him 100% of the time. And this isn’t for, like, monthly luxury vacations. Also I’m in my late 30s, so this standard is for guys in their 30s/40s

    ETA: I make tech money, so I don’t expect my dates to make as much as I do. But I do expect them not to be insecure about their salary compared to mine, or be intimidated/judgy about mine.

20. Realistically, $80-$100k. I live in a high COL city. I make >$150k.

    I want someone who can financially support themselves in the city we live in and can also live a similar lifestyle.

    I’m also a woman and have encountered too many men who 1. Hated I made more than them or 2. Took advantage of it.

    Basically, I would like a level playing field with a partner.

21. As a dude, it doesn’t cross my mind. If they make more than me great. If not, I make enough to support someone which is cool too

22. Guy here. I don’t expect the woman to make anything. Only thing I except is love and acceptance. Money comes and goes. Can’t base who the person is because of the amount they make.

    Even if they didn’t make anything and turned out to be a POS. I’ll kick them out. You gotta go. Byeeee

23. If he can make my legs shake after a night of passion and buy us pizza after, I’m in love……
    If he can afford a roof over his head, that’s a bonus

24. Zero expectations, just be self-sustaining as mentioned here. Likewise, I hope the right girl for me doesn’t have monetary expectations out of me, but I want her to expect me to be self-sufficient.

    This goes outside of dating as well, I don’t have monetary ambitions lol. Just wanna be happy and financially secure. That is all. I don’t need a big house and a fancy car to be happy.

25. As a man I always require that the girl I’m seeing to be able to take care of her own bills, other than that she doesn’t have to make a dollar. As long as she’s a decent person that’s worth $1 million nowadays.

26. I think for me the important part is more that she have a career rather than just a job if that makes sense. Like for the field I’m planning on entering after I finish up school, starting salaries are ~100k, but I’d still be open to a woman involved in something like teaching or nonprofit work that might only pull in ~40k. I do want someone with ambition though, so something like convenience store worker would be a no go

27. I have dated professionals making 6 figure salaries to people working minimum wage jobs.

    It’s a relationship, not a job application. I make my own money. What do they bring to the table besides their salary?

    So… To me. It’s not important. It’s nice if they make a lot of money, and it’s ok if they don’t.

28. Sorry but money doesn’t buy love only the heart can buy true love

29. A good mentality about handling their finances is better than what they earn. Healthy financial habits on a salary of 80k is better than 180k with crazy spending habits or debts or gambling.