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there’s something deeper – emotional attraction and connection. Some people need to be emotionally hooked to be able to fully enjoy sex.
Maybe you need emotional attraction or maybe you need different stimulus if it’s only physical. Like maybe for emotional, you enjoy PIV w/o clit stimulation but without that connection you need clit rubbed.
Maybe some of the things you’re doing feel too intimate and are throwing you off OR you won’t give yourself permission to enjoy them because you feel it’s too intimate.