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Usually when I delete her off my contact list or add her to my spam filter.
I was told by a friend to look after his daughter. I decided to take her on a walk through a forest. After a while of walking, I realize it’s getting too quiet. I look around and realize she isn’t behind me.
I looked around all over, but couldn’t find her. I had completely lost her.
Ha, My old work like NFTs. Sometimes we good and profitable, sometimes we ain’t shit. No one really knows wtf we are but we out here.
She’s never yours, it’s only your turn. Therefore, you can never lose her.
When things that we fought over feels irreversible
When I remember that she exists and I haven’t seen her in months. Usually sets in by that point. I tend to be slow to realize things.
When she banged my grand father
It’s been a very long time but I guess I just didn’t want to accept it and for what it’s worth she gave me chance after chance and I kept messing up so I have no one else to blame but myself and that’s just something that I have to live with every day.
October 28th 2021
We had broken up when she moved away for college, but still hung out and had a FWB type thing going on when she came to town. The last time we hung out I was expecting more of the same but she told me we had to stop because I was still too attached and she got out of the car and walked back into her house while I stayed there sobbing like a baby.
I still have that image of her walking away burned into my mind. And that’s when I knew.
She said she going to Dairy Queen. I said bring me back a sundae. Still waiting for my sundae.
Going to “friends” houses consistently, appearing offline for hours while out, disinterested in sex, getting up in the morning and getting dressed without waking me up with a kiss.
It was blatantly obvious, but I ignored all the signs because in my head I was still madly in love. It all came together when her friend she was supposedly out with, texted me asking where she was because she wasnt answering her phone. She had been seeing another dude behind my back for months, it’s been almost 5 years and it still fucks me up.
when I stopped getting replied to
Blocked on Whatsapp. Lol.
When she went to see a movie with her coworker and told me if I had a problem with that she was leaving the relationship.
To fill in context, the “coworker” started as the weird creepy dude that told her he had a crush on her. In time that evolved into “just friends” and eventually openly trying to be a wedge in our relationship. All of which she openly admitted and relayed to me second hand. So the signs were there, not to mention we had our own issues in the relationship anyway. We had plans to go see the same movie and I hadn’t said anything about her going with him instead so her challenge to leave if I said anything was completely unprompted. Her wanting to fight about it was what made it click.
They ended up moving in together 5 months later, and pregnant 2 months after that so I guess I wasn’t wrong.
She decided to take a trip to Cincinnati without telling me (not suspicious in and of itself for unstated reasons) and when I suggested we have dinner or go out when she returns, she said “We’ll play it by ear.”
She gave up on her progress and healing and became the narcissist that broke her
She got married. I found out through one of those videos that couples have put together of the whole wedding day music and all.
The artist that they chose for the music was someone I introduced to her.
I went for a walk that day and just listened to it again and again until I got tired, then went home.
Thought I was genuinely over her until then. That was the first and last time I was genuinely in love.
I kept checking traffic and couldn’t see her car behind me.
When she ignores started ignoring me for long periods of time, and I had to go out of my way to talk to her.
Still hoping she comes back
I’m not really sure. I **think** it was when I was served with divorce papers.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
She straight up told me (one week before my exams) that she did not love me, that was the initial shocker.
At that point she had asked me to move in with her about 3 weeks before.
She turned cold and distant (which was obviously to distant yourself from another person).
I spent the next 2-3 months hoping to get a text back from her, hell i wanted it so bad it was not even funny.
I did some hardline examinations of my own psyche to figure out what the hell was happening.
Since then i have been pretty chill with everything, made a few new friends and just generally not bothering with people that dont put effort into learning about my life.
Come this february (that is about 6-7 months after the breakup) she texts me asking if she could be part of my plan if there was a atomic event / biological in Ukraine, and if she could be taken with me when i leave to go back home.
I suprised myself by saying «sure» and nothing else, i laughed at it and then went for a date. (With another lady)