This will be long as it’s traumatized me and broken me, so here is a warning for potential content and length.
I’ve recently come out of a 2 year LDR, ended in early July. (Me*M21+F19)
It was fun, I’ve had previous tries and experiences but she was my first true love, I held off for a while with her as I didn’t want to be a rebound (she mentioned she broken up a while before, learning more recently, it didn’t) and due to some bad history, I wanted to heal more, but after a few weeks/months, we clicked more and I fell for her.
We would call for hours everyday, I loved it, I bought her gifts and really gave her all my effort, I even saved her life and helped her get back into a job/career, but at the sacrifice of my time and mainly friends and family, I always had to put 150% in, after a while she noticed and wanted to help me talk with my friends more, but every time I did it, she would get sad and aggressive at me for abandoning or neglecting her, even when I did what she said.
I had to sacrifice myself, looking back I can see that and understand what people meant when they said after every time I came back from traveling to her, that I lost a bit of myself, or there is more chipped away off me.
But I pushed through the bad times, as I loved her, the one time she traveled to me, there were 100s of red flags but I gave her the benefit of the doubt, and my old friends even said she was the one… I was thinking of ending it or going on a break around February, so I pushed through and it was fun.
June, I traveled to her for a week, we went across her country and even went to Legoland, it was amazing, but she kept on arguing with me, and even brining up topics like (a 4 letter word for forced intercourse) and how that’s common in my country, I was shocked of how extreme she would take everything, and make it a competition between countries, I never cared as England was my country and “when” I married her, Denmark would be my second home, so I liked both, but not for her, she also mentioned many times, she would never move to my country, which again, after a while, I had to accept.
The last days I was there, I was on the verge of breaking up, but after having a long talk and seeing how much it hurt her and how much she meant to me, I promised I would see her again in August, a day later, she had a job opportunity and I said to go for it, forget about me as I will always be there for he, I always fully supported her in everything,… (That’s another thing, she always said bad things about the things I loved or did, the jobs I had or courses I was learning, she always belittled it.)
Anyway, I come back to England, we take a little break and not a week later, not 7 days, she calls me, we have an amazing talk, one of our best calls…. But she breaks down crying, I’m so confused… She then ends it, I’m completely shocked, I barely say anything, as I’m in disbelief and if she meant it, I can’t do anything about it.
Her family were as shocked as me, they loved me as one of their own it seemed, as I still love them, but yeah it killed me, but honestly I didn’t believe it for 2 weeks and I tried to talk to her again but she changed, she was very dismissive of me, even laughing at my pain and sadness, not giving me a second or a chance, she would backtrack to saying that she needed time to heal from her mental health and to focus on herself, but after 2 weeks of ending it, she was talking or with someone else, and was constantly rubbing it in my face, saying how I needed to move on, which is horrible in so many ways, that’s not how love works.
But after this, I did sadly get into an account of hers as she left it on my computer, but it’s been removed and I’ve apologized many times, but she has taken it further with threatening me with other actions that we have proof that weren’t me, as my family have tried to help get down to the bottom of it and to provent anything happening from my end/to not make it possible to be me, but even while healing, she has still sent abusive messages and accusing me of stuff that my family and hers knows I haven’t done.
It kills as I feel I’m actually traumatized by everything, I’ve cried so much, to the point I’ve been to the hospital, for many reasons, but also for my heart, the stress from all of this has made my heart weaker and even made me have hair loss, I’m trying my best everyday though, I have help with my college course and have amazing people around me, but she still tries to get into my life and torture me, I obviously deep down love her, it will never go, only will be more bearable to cope with, with time, i could go on for years as, we went through so much, I can’t believe what she’s done to me, her family can’t too, but it’s her choice.
I wish for the pain to stop, I fear that she will find this, she’s blocked me on everything, but sometimes she unblocks me and messages me, even though her family have agreed to not contact me to help me heal, I think.
I’m not sure what else to add here, I really could go on forever, like tomorrow I will remember something and want to add it or want to remove something I’ve said, I’m not sure but I’ll leave it here for now, thank you.
TL;DR: Traumatized after a 2 year long distance relationship that was emotionally abusive ended, she still tries to contact me, rub it in my face what she’s doing and has done with others, lied and accused me of things that both parties know aren’t true and have proof… (It’s hard to shorten something so big and went on for so long into a paragraph)