Why am I so awkward around someone I’m really close with?

23 comments

1. Friends only stop acting awkward when they’re close enough. When they’re not close or just met, they’re just embarrassed to do something and keep thinking about what the other might think. Maybe you should try spending more time with her to get closer.

2. Is she awkward around you, too or do you perceive this as a one-sided issue?

3. its anxiety

   go to therapy, take ssri, and start meditation

4. Like others have mentioned this is social anxiety, sounds like your mind is overthinking so much it make it hard to be more in the present moment with actions you take. Trying to be more accepting and open with yourself can help, and if the person can reassure you you’re fine too that can also help.

5. I feel awkward around close friends, relatives and people in general especially when eating or talking. I feel nervous like do I look nice..aw my anxiety kicks in and I start over thinking

6. You ain’t close homie. I think you say so because you judge your relationship based on society’s standards and what it deems important for two people to be called “close” you’ve spent a lot of time together, you’ve profound experiences together, you are similar in a lot of ways, you share the same values, you like being in each other’s company, you support each other and so on which is correct in most cases but there are no absolutes in life. Subjectively and to you specifically she is not close because deep down you’re treating her as a stranger, you have no trust towards her if you did you would not keep worrying and fussing over what she thinks, you’d just trust that she knows what you are. Plus she doesn’t check the last and most important factor for it to be considered for you as such, there is no surrender. To be truly close with someone you just see the futility of perfection and trying to be what you are not and you just be, and when the moment comes in which there is simply nothing to talk about both of you shut the hell up and just enjoy the silent and wordless communication between two being seeing the complete reality of one another.

   Or there could be some neurological issue which would need medication, so the question are you like this with every single person on the planet?

7. do you overthink whenever you hang with her? i used to do this but just started talking without thinking twice and it brought me closer to my friends bc they got to see who i really am

8. I thought I might see some comments that assume you probably are in love with this close friend. But nope, just me? Okay.

9. I heard this somewhere, and I wholeheartedly agree: being close to someone doesn’t mean that you always have something to talk, but rather that you can be both comfortable saying absolutely nothing.

   It seems you’re not comfortable though. But if *she* is, maybe you shouldn’t worry too much.

10. If you are in love with her, that will make you act a bit awkward around her. Is ok.

    Remember to be in the moment

    Edit: have you considered talking to her about this? Either you feeling awkward or just that you like her? That might actually help.

11. If you have nothing to say, it’s alright to just be together in silence.

    When you’re close with someone, you can be together without having to talk about anything. There’s no judgement, awkwardness, etc.

12. In my experience, someone has to lead the conversation and the activities.

    So when you put two people together who are usually not the leader (the members who aren’t leading still contribute and impact the course of action, they just don’t initiate everything), it can get confusing for the two of them to make things happen.

    What do you want from the occasion? Don’t hesitate to bite the bullet and lead conversations and activities.

    As a caution, those who lead are often met with more awkwardness from time to time, and needing to coax responses, receiving disagreement, needing to persist, needing to pivot, needing to make decisions.

    Can’t ever expect things to go perfectly, you just wanna move forward in the best way you can think of, always learning and looking forward.

    So, it’s likely this new skill will create some challenges to work around. How exciting! Wish you the best 🙂

13. It is possible, even if you are just friends, that you love her. Love between friends is perfectly normal and natural. But to some people, the concept of love, and what it means, is problematic. It may worry you because it feels too intimate to be vulnerable with someone, or you believe that you have to do something to fight back. To others it is the most natural and fundamental thing. This may lead to some awkwardness.

    But for your sake, I wouldn’t think about it. It is not worth it to live your life trying to figure out what is wrong. Instead, just trust yourself. Love yourself and love your friend. You don’t have to do anything. Just let love happen. You’re not going to get into trouble.

14. There are a lot of different ways to love someone.

15. Same problem, need answers too!!

16. I had a friend like this for 10+ years. We hung out a lot and I considered her a really close friend, but after a while I did start feeling some awkwardness and we had a lot of silent moments together. And, typically I would say that’s normal, but… idk, it felt different. I think we just changed too much since the beginning of our friendship and ended up not being compatible friends after a decade of knowing each other. Sometimes it’s just like that, and it’s okay. Idk if that’s similar to the situation you’re in, but figured I’d share. It might not be anxiety like some are mentioning.

17. For some reason that’s what happens to me as well. I’ll be confident around random people that I may meet once a week but as soon as I’m with my best friend I’ll be awkward af. I’ve discussed it with my psychologist and we came to the realization that it’s because I care about what they think about me.
    I’ll be confident around general people because I don’t really care abt what they think abt me but I’ll try to stay more quiet around someone I’ve got a close connection with because I care about their opinion.
    Don’t know why that happens tho.

18. Literally same, i think it’s because i’m not confident in myself and so there’s no way to not feel awkward if i’m always telling myself that I am. And since it’s an internal issue it isn’t just gonna go away because of who you’re with. You just gotta stop overthinking and practice saying and doing things without thinking about it at all. Don’t focus on yourself at all, just your surroundings

19. I think that’s normal. There’s a lot to talk about when you’re getting to know someone but after that there might not be much to talk about. If I think about what I talk about with my friends it’s mainly talking about things that happened while we weren’t together, talking about problems we have, or talking about thing happening around us. If we don’t have any of that then we sit silently. Neither of us are bored, mad, or feel awkward. We just sit in silence until we have something to say. To me when this stage first starts, after getting to know them, I do feel awkward. I don’t know how to read situations well and I think I’m boring, have done something wrong, or some other bad thing. But then after a while they keep asking to hangout and we keep having silent moments and I just get used to it. I like it because I get mentally exhausted so having times where I don’t need to talk make it less exhausting.

20. I’m not too sure but, it could be that she’s awkward and you sense that vibe sometimes. Nothing necessarily wrong with that but, I think it could explain a possible reason.

    Some advice I could give on keeping a convo going is asking questions about life like if anything special has happened recently (if they say no) make a joke about it on how life can be boring sometimes or say something like “lol eh nothing wrong with that right? As long as things are going well”. If she says things are “alright” or “not so much” ask why things aren’t so well and try to listen a lot unless it’s too personal for them. In that case reassure them that they can share with you whenevs they feel comfortable and that you care.

    Talk about your surroundings when hanging out, family, friends, ambitions, job, school, hobbies, religion, maybe even personal things and try and be a good listener if they start to get into the convo more and more.

    Also make jokes and all around just be natural. When I had awkward moments of silence during a convo I made a joke about it like “ya know I was gonna say something but, my mind is a blank” or say “I wish I could say what I wanted to say but, I got nothing right now” make light of the fact and have fun.

21. You don’t need conversation to define a relationship. Sometimes the people who we talk to the least are the closest individuals in our lives. It is like with my mother though it is not relevant but i am very close with my mother but i don’t talk to her much we live in the same house but still.

22. Ok what makes you say that she’s your closest friend then? I’m just tryna figure out how come you feel awkward with them tho you say you’re close with them.

23. Update: Got diagnosed with social anxiety.