I (F) can’t come from oral

10 comments

1. Try using toys more, have him experiment different things and have him focus on your clit

2. Does he hit the right spots? Like playing with the clit with his tongue, or going ‘in’ with his tongue? I used to get in my head a lot but there were certain things that I taught myself to think about that really allowed me to enjoy it more!!

3. I personally don’t enjoy receiving oral. Even when I know the skills of the guy giving and his enthusiasm are top notch. Way too in my head about. Also I know I require a fair amount of pressure when it comes to clit play. Keep practicing is the answer if you want to enjoy it, but I’d rather just switch to things I know work for me.

4. When your mind is drifting away, focus on trying to feel the texture of his skin where it contacts you.

   You might not be comfortable being the recipient of pleasure… you might view yourself as the pleasure giver. Do him a favor and let him enjoy being the giver.

5. Is this with multiple partners? If not it’s probably a him problem. Most women find it easier to get off from that sort of stimulation than from straight PIV sex. Are you able to climax from clitoral stimulation when you masturbate?

6. I had the same problem, previously I had a bad relationship not getting into that now.

   But when I was receiving oral I got a bit distracted and I’d lose the feeling partly this was because I’d never really been licked before that often. This was about 12 years ago when I first started dating my husband.

   His solution was pretty simple, he downloaded porn for me knowing that I did masturbate to pornography. I watched it while he licked me, and had a great orgasm. Since then I have no problems having an orgasm. If I do find myself losing interest I usually tell him to either have sex with me then try again or ask him to put some porn on.

7. If you think that you can’t enjoy it because of intrusive thoughts, you should first try to identify these thoughts. Or maybe your bf doesn’t “hit the right spots”, and if you know well enough yourself you could guide him. Otherwise, maybe you have some control issues than doesen’t allow you to let you go and follow the flow of the river. Mines are just hypothesis, just normal situations that affect so many people. If it’s an important problem to you, and I can understand if it’s so, you can think about talking about with a specialist – a sex therapist – that might help you shed some light.

8. Hi there, have you tried tensing your pelvic floor and thigh muscles? I find that helps a lot to reach the O. Also you might find that you, like a lot of women, are getting into your head about getting to the O and how long it’s taking and that is actually stopping you from getting there. There’s also the factor that for many women, it has to be a very specific motion that is repeated and often men just can’t or don’t do it. Some guidance on what feels best from you might help.

9. Not sure if you do this, but it took me years to unlearn being performative during oral. It’s a vulnerable position (someone’s face is literally in your crotch) and porn/misogyny has taught women, even subconsciously, that we need to sound/look/act sexy at all times during sex. I had to actively remind myself: stop moaning if it’s not organic, relax your body so you’re not “posing,” etc. Number one: this is the time for you to prioritize YOUR orgasm and be selfish, essentially. When receiving oral, it’s about you, not him.

   Like I said, it took me literal years to learn how to relax into my body and just soak in the pleasure. What helped me earlier on with this was to have lights off/low + music on during oral. Too much lighting and dead silence would make me hyper-aware and self-conscious.

   Now I am so much more relaxed during oral. I also find that once a partner has given me the first orgasm during oral, it’s a lot easier from there on out because I’ve overcome (hah) the first mental block.

   Don’t know if this applies to you or not. But hope it helps. Good luck!

10. Girl, I’m 27 f & still have yet to ever cum from oral lol. I’m actually just convinced that men these days don’t know how to eat pussy lmao. I literally have yet to find a man who does!