When my fiance (46/M) loses his temper I (39/F) want to leave him (UPDATE)

UPDATE: I posted about my relationship last year and a lot of folks had some great advice that I wasn’t ready to hear at the time. I want to encourage you that if you’re in a relationship like mine that it’s not normal to be treated that way, and that things will feel better on the other side. I left him in July of this year and am very happy with my decision. I feel positive about life again and physically, spiritually and emotionally much happier.

I just wanted to thank everyone for your support and comments and share some resources. There’s a great closed community for women/femmes on Facebook called “Should I Stay or Should I Go.” A great book called “Too Bad to Stay, Too Good to Leave.” Another good one, by Lundy Bancroft, called “Why Does He Do That.” I am also getting a lot out of a book called “Codependent No More” by Melanie Beattie, which I highly recommend! I know for some people it seems incredible that someone could be in a relationship that was so clearly unhealthy and think that it was somehow, someday going to work for them, but I’ve found that it’s sadly common. As someone recently wrote on Twitter, we have this narrative about marriage/relationships being a lot of misery and work and bickering and disrespect, maybe because we’re being conditioned to think this is all we (honestly, mostly women) should expect. But you know what? No thank you to that, never again.

My TL;DR is this: On the day I left him I showed up at one of my closest friends’ house with my dog and a suitcase, crying. She listened to me, fed me, and put me up in her spare room. As I went to sleep that night I reflected on how safe I felt in her house and her presence. How I had never been afraid that she would mock me, disbelieve me, call me names or get angry with me for being myself. If your romantic relationship doesn’t feel like that, like a friendship where you are loved, liked, respected, believed, cared for and comfortable, it’s a relationship you shouldn’t stay in

[https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/ps0pso/when\_my\_fiance\_46m\_loses\_his\_temper\_i\_39f\_want\_to/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/ps0pso/when_my_fiance_46m_loses_his_temper_i_39f_want_to/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)