Title sounds weird, hear me out.
I (28F) have a lovely new partner (30M) who has ED as a side effect of meds. I’ve not had a partner with this issue before, so I’m getting used to a different pace of sex, with less focus on orgasm as the end result and a kind of more slow, the pleasure is in the process approach. It’s actually really nice!
However, he’s told me he finds it easier to maintain erection when the sex is playful and has also said he feels like I take sex quite seriously. I think he’s right – with all my previous sexual partners they’ve really enjoyed me taking control, riding them, giving BJs and generally “acting sexy.” Sex with my new partner is different, it is more playful and slow, and I am really enjoying it but if there’s a pause and I don’t know what to do next I default to my serious/sexy behaviour which makes him feel a bit too much pressure.
So the advice I’m looking for is – has anyone here had to take a similar mindset shift to approach sex with a new partner? How do you go about getting into a different headspace with sex? I’m hoping it comes with time (lol pun intended) as the playful giggly sex is actually really lovely, and so is he, and I want to be intimate with him in a way that makes him comfortable.
1 comment
Yes it will come with time. I used to be submissive. But a partner once asked me to Dom and it took a while but now I can live without the occasional domming.