Since I was young I was always a socially awkward person and a lot of people have been telling me to improve my social skills but sometimes I wonder if you have to break down some points that make someone a socially awkward person what would it be?
– Is it the body language?
– The way they speak? Their voice? The rhythm when they speak?
– Anxiety?
– Or is it from the actual topic that they say that makes people feel uncomfortable?
6 comments
What has been working for me is journaling my conversations that I think I could have done better at. I’ll write down what I could do better, what I can do to improve and what I did good in the conversations. Furthermore just practice consistently and you will notice slight differences in the quality of your conversations the more you change things little by little.
What use to be “socially awkward” is not much a thing. What does it even mean?
But i can agree that some are uncomfortable in social gatherings. Just like everything else, you learn these things by interacting with others at a young age and you just learn.
Improve your listening skills and pay more attention to your surroundings rather than thinking about what to say and what to do or how to do it. These put more stress on you and you look more uncomfortable. All humans lack and get anxious in social gatherings. Some are better at masking it than others.
What i have learned, I don’t need to start the conversation. And if I do, it’s usually a small question and the others need to elaborate.
Also, remember, ppl love to talk about themselves. Ask those questions and watch them talk for hours…
Practice makes perfection
In short, you just need practice.
Non verbal cues are a big part of social communication, but they are way too complicated for anyone’s concious mind to control. The more you focus on them, the less natural they will be. Focus on getting to know other people and not on yourself or on how you think others are perceiving you.
Normal socialized people allow their subconscious to control their nonverbal communication, which it knows how to do because they have had lots of practice socializing.
There’s no easy trick or hack or technique, you just need more practice socializing and that means being willing to endure the risk of awkwardness, cringe, rudeness, rejection, guilt and all the other potential hazards of socializing with people you aren’t 100% familiar with. It’s not easy but it is worth it.
For me it a mix of all of it, and I’m so anxious that my brain turn off and I become so dumb in public
All of those things are SYMPTOMS of the problem, which is less developed social skills and lack of confidence. Just changing those externals won’t fix the essential problem.
When corporate comes to your workplace and your stuck in meetings all day. So you get a 2 for 1 bang energy drink. As you return you ask “anyone want ah bang”