I (19f) have Aspergers as well as trauma related to losing friends, so sometimes I overreact to neutral social cues as if they are negative. I just moved to college and I’ve met some people, but I can’t help but feel I am annoying everyone I hang out with.
So I have some various questions on some social stuff I was hoping some people might have ideas about:
-How often is it okay to text someone? Is there a way you can you tell over text if you are being overbearing?
-How often is it okay to ask someone to hang out, I’ve met a person I really enjoy spending time with, but I feel like I’ve been asking them to hang out too much. They said they enjoy spending time with me and that “we should do this again at some point” but also they usually only seem lukewarm about hanging out (Sometimes saying maybe to hang outs and never getting back to me/after we like finish doing a social activity together they’ll go hang out with other friends). How can you tell if someone actually wants to hang out or if they are just being nice?
-What is good way to gauge someone’s feelings about you? Just outright asking “do you like spending time with me?” doesn’t really work as it seems desperate and puts them in a position where they feel like they can’t say no
-Is there a good way to tell if you are actively annoying someone? (Like I said can’t really ask outright)
I just feel like I’m not doing a good job at making connections here, I always feel like I’m either being too overbearing and wanting to spend too much time with people (and annoying them) or I’m not putting myself out there enough and people are gonna move on cause I’m not being social enough with them. And the problem is that I don’t know which one it is so I don’t know which direction to correct in.