For me, a real man must:

1. Get arrested twice. (Conviction and jail/prison aren’t necessary, but help.)

2. Get cheated on three times.

3. Get a DUI.

30 comments
  1. Twirling down Pinnacle St in a leotard and tutu… because a Real Man wears whatever he damn well wants.

  2. He must treat his woman like shit, call her derogatory names and not show her love and affection.

  3. Must neglect at least two biological children. Bonus points for also neglecting another man’s kids while also being overly hostile to said man’s presence

  4. Be able to take care of himself and not need anyone for anything. Loving yourself to the point of being “arrogant” is necessary too. It’s the only way to be great at who you are and what you do

  5. Real men don’t wear condoms nor are they selective with who they sleep with. He just fuck ls every woman he sees. Gets every woman pregnant

  6. Not a real man unless you are 6’+, hung, square jawed, ripped, wealthy, have a nice car, and perfect in bed.

  7. You’re not a real man if you don’t shit so hard that you have to take your shirt off mid way through.

  8. Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women!

  9. Those sound like what a woman would look for in a man in addition to 6’ height, 6fig salary

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