Me (21F) and my boyfriend (21M) have been together since we were 15-16. We’ve been through a lot like a lot from a cancer diagnosis , other illnesses , deaths in family etc and we still love each-other so much and are so in love but Were on a break right now because part of us feels like we’ve never got to experience being on our own since we were together since so young. We wanna experience different things & people have hookup culture & know what it feels like to live our 20s before fully committing any further. We wanna make sure we know who we are outside of our relationship bc we grew up together so it’s tough. We don’t wanna be 40 and regret not living life in our 20s especially because we both got hit with some really serious diagnosis this year and although we’re doing better we’re kinda in that I almost died I need to experience it all mindset. We are on good terms still speak at times and miss eachother but we know this is something we need to do so we don’t wonder in the future. But do you guys have any personal experiences with this working out do you think it’s a good idea. There’s a mutual understanding on both ends. I can see myself with him in the future getting married being married and having kids but part of me keeps listening to the “breaks never work” and im scared we wont work out in the end.
5 comments
Its always a risk and tbh the grass isn’t always greener. Some people throw away great relationships for a what if and end up regretting it.
Hookup culture isn’t the glamorous thing so many people make it out to be. I’d always prefer relationship sex with a partner that I can trust and knows me. Its very difficult to get that as you get older.
In terms of doing things for you though, I encourage this. Not everything has to be focused on being with other people and can instead be focused on finding out what you like and what you want out of your life. When you are with a partner, its easy to think of doing things together opposed to alone. Going solo for a bit will give you both perspective.
I’m sure other people might have better opinions on this than me though. I spent a good portion of my late teens/early 20s in a LTR with a girl I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. Looking back, even though things didn’t work out, I’m glad I got to be with her opposed to participating in hook up culture. Maybe I would have had a few good nights here and there, but it would be nothing compared to the time I got to spend with her.
I think you’re both young and dumb and don’t understand how young and dumb you are. You’re saying you want to trade the security and comfort of a bond you both forged together through rough times for the hollow pleasure of another person using your body as a masturbation toy. Fuck it. Do what you want. I think you’re both stupid.
ehhh I’d say just fully break up. imo “breaks” are nonsense and only end in hurt and a permanent destruction of your relationship dynamic.
everyone thinks they can handle the emotional compartmentalization necessary for being on a “break”, n no couples I know who went on one are together again. Ultimately it’s your choice though.
Time apart for a time period is good. It helps you to understand if you truelly want to spend your life with the other person.
Hookup culture will mess with both of you and most likely fuck up the good thing you have even if you might think (Good things last through anything), it does not. Most people that I know who participated in that for a time have the same experience as me, its sounds good in theory, but at the end of the day cant be compared to sex with your longterm partner.
My advice would be – Stay monogamious, and experience world around you during this time. It will get you two even closer.
I think in a few years you’ll be who you will be – and you may or may not still be right for each other – regardless of whether you take this break or not. I’m a fan of experiencing life and REALLY knowing who you are and what you want before getting married (which may or may not include hookups – they’re not right for everyone). The person you’re with at 16 COULD be the right person for you your whole life, but that’s often not the case. And when you only have ONE relationship to look at, it’s hard to judge if it’s the right one. My sister married the guy she was with at 16. They’ve been married over twenty years now, with two kids, and while their marriage isn’t a train wreck or anything, I feel like she would have been happier with a different man. I think what you guys are doing is not a bad idea AT ALL, but you may or may not end up getting back together. And if you don’t, then it probably wasn’t meant to be forever.