Date Conundrum

Hi all,

Context: 34, male, seeking advice

I recently went on a date (my first date on an app in over 4 years after being in a relationship). It was with a person who I found extremely attractive and we connected right away. It only took us about 10 messages for us to decide that we should meet up for drinks the next day.

On her profile, it said that she’s looking for a life partner, which I was very interested in and made that very clear on our first date.

That night, we went out and talked for 3 hours straight. It was all VERY positive. She hinted that she got out of relationship 5 months ago and we discussed that dynamic for some time. We both acknowledged that we found each other attractive and liked each other’s company.

After the drinks, we went to a dancing spot where a few of my friends were at. I asked her prior if she wanted to go there and she said that she would love to. We danced for an hour, until she literally jumped on top of me when I was sitting down and started kissing me. I instantly asked if she wanted to get out of there.

We went back to my place and had very passionate sex (sorry if that is TMI), then cuddled all night. The next morning, she woke up and seemed pretty hungover (I was fine), so I proceeded to take her home. She invited me into her house, introduced me to her dog, then got into comfy clothes. I got her some water and talked to her for a bit before leaving (I had a wedding to go to that day).

I decided to text her later and said that I had fun and hope that she feels better. She gave me a response, but never acknowledged that she enjoyed meeting me. 24 hours passed and I texted her again saying that I really enjoyed the other night and what happened between us acknowledging us hooking up. She said “let’s not talk about that with a facepalm emoji.”

We had a little bit of communication after that, but I could tell that she seemed pretty distant in her replies. Now I don’t know where to take it. I’m starting to feel a bit of guilt from us having drinks on the first date and hooking up, but everything went so fluidly while we were in the moment.

It’s now been almost 5 days since we’ve said anything to eachother (we’re both very busy people, but I’m getting a sense of intentional distance). I thought about sending her a response that says something along the lines of “I wanted to followup and see how you feel about last weekend. I really enjoyed meeting you, but I also feel some guilt for us drinking and hooking up on the first date. I don’t want you to have that perception of me.” Is that overreaching or should I just let it be at this point?