How do you go from being the nice guy to a good man?

23 comments

1. There is no definitive answer, but some things that may help include being honest with yourself, making an effort to learn and grow, and being open to feedback. Additionally, it can be helpful to cultivate positive relationships with others and be a role model for those around you.

2. For me, I had to go be the bad guy for a while until I learned to balance it out. People liked the bad guy a LOT more than the nice guy. Then I had to learn to tone the bad guy down because he was just too bad lol. It’s a balance.

3. The “nice guy” persona is build upon the idea of entitlement. That your ‘niceness or goodness’ is deserving of rewards.

   A good guy does without requirements or assumption of anytging.

4. If you are sick of that crap and ready to go to a new level as a man and as a dating partner –

   There is a book that you’re going to read ten times, like the author recommends.

   Book is “How To Be A 3% Man”. Access it for free by signing up for the email newsletter on the website http://www.understandingrelationships.com.

   After your tenth read of the book/applying the knowledge to your life, come back here so you and I both can be excited about your success stories. 👌🏾

5. Learn to put yourself first. When you’re in the middle of an interaction. Ask yourself is this how I would respond? Or are you just responding in a way that sounds ideal. You gotta make people earn those nice actions from you. Dont just give it out. It feels cheap and fake.

6. There is nothing you can do about it, it’s just who you are.

   Also it has nothing to do with dating. There are nice guys with sex lives and relationships and there are bad guys with sex lives and relationships.

7. The “nice guy” persona is the act of doing something good with secondary motivation. The hope that the good act is either rewarded or at least appreciated in some manner. Especially in situations where the good act is not necessarily requested or truly needed. It can lead to people going out of there way to do perceivable nice things for people who don’t really need it or respect you for it.

   The good man does the right thing, for the right person when a good act is needed without expectation that there is a secondary benefit behind the primary benefit experienced by the person they are helping.

8. Set boundaries, and make sure you get your needs met. Don’t lie or sugarcoat to please others.

9. First step, not finding friendship demoralizing.

10. Choose your actions based on the principle, rather than results or lack thereof

11. Here’s a great book for you. No More Mr a nice Guy, by Dr Robert Glover.

12. Meh. First see if you’re the actual problem. Many people like to label others with bullshit to try gaslight their own failings.

    If it is you, then try doing things without unreasonable expectations or just do them because you want to. Believe in yourself enough to say goodbye should things not turn in your favour, without lashing out, and go find someone who will reciprocate your feelings.

13. Your lack of sexual success with women has nothing to do with you being a nice guy or not. There’s lots of nice guys out there who are drowning in pussy.

    The reason why women see you as a guy friend instead of a datable/fuckable guy is because you are sexually unattractive.

    Maybe you are fat.

    Maybe you are scrawny.

    Both situations can be changed and altered by going to gym, lifting hard, and getting big and lean.

    Or maybe you are ugly and not even a $5 dollars prostitute would sleep with you because of that face. In that case, save up the money for plastic surgery and get yourself an attractive face. I recommend South Korea. It’s where all of the actressess-wannabes I know of go to when they need to improve their looks.

14. Hit the gym, work on yourself and put yourself first. Still be a nice person, hold doors, say please and thank you etc. take care of your responsibilities second. School, work, whatever you need to do to further your advancement in life.

    Then let others be apart of your life. You’re still a good person, you just have your shit in order and THATS more sexy than a suckup nice guy.

15. Being a good person is independent of being datable. To go from being a nice guy to a good man you must aim to grow for self-motivated reasons, not to fit some expectations you think others have.

16. Read Dr Robert Glover’s books like No more Mr nice guy and Dating essentials for men.

17. Work out, get enough creatine, sleep well work on yourself. Get your hormone levels tested.

18. Nice guys finish first. Leaving her unsatisfied.

19. >it’s demoralizing being the guy friend rather than a datable person.

    Being a nice guy or a good man doesn’t make a man datable. A lot of women are deeply hateful and spiteful of men that are good to them.

20. The nice guy is the good man, paradoxical right?

21. Your feeling demoralized comes from listening to other nice guys, not hanging out with female friends. Asking how to be a good man makes no sense.

22. Try to notice when you are doing stuff because you want someone to think of you in a certain way, and stop doing that. Start doing things that are intrinsically valuable and meaningful to you, and learn to pursue them even when no one is watching. Nice guys are pandering to an audience, good men aren’t trying to win anyone’s approval but their own.

23. Make yourself scarce. Spend time doing something other than fishing for attention from women.