To give some background, I have a deep rooted fear of intimacy and relationships and have never been in one. I have been making strides to better myself and have gotten therapy to get out of my shell. My problem is I never like people.
At work I met this guy, lets call him John. John approaches me and we start talking over the next few days. He is very charming and sweet and over our time talking I give many indications and let him know I am weird and shy. I am an introvert and I like nerdy stuff. I just want to put my true self out there so there are no surprises. He laughs and tells me every time he finds it very cute and thats what he likes about me.
For the first time ever I am actually excited about the prospect of getting close with someone. I’m a loner and bonding with people is incredibly hard due to trauma. I’m actively texting back and not backing down, making it known I like him back.
He asks me on a date and I agree. Date night comes, I told him I would wait at my college campus because thats closer to his home. I waited 5 hours. He texts me that he can’t make it. Its fine. I brush it off.
We’re still texting like normal and I’m still open to this. Come another week or two and I feel like hes losing interest. He ignores my texts even though I see hes active on his socials and he hasnt brought up the idea of a date again. I feel pretty pathetic and it seems like a cut-it-dry kinda deal, its just I grew feelings. Its the first time I was able to open up to someone and it feels really shitty to just let it go. I keep fluctuating between the idea of showing him I care and I have feelings to see if this goes through or just giving up. The obvious is to give up but it really doesnt feel easy. Hes been complaining nonestop about work and I wonder if hes just stressed and occupied about that but again I don’t know.
TLDR; I’m a female loner and I finally got feelings for a guy but he ghosted me and I don’t know if I should continue with this.
1 comment
It’s time to find your dignity. This guy is a jerk. He is not good enough for you. If you keep expressing that you will accept being mistreated then things are going to go badly for you. Don’t be so easily impressed with attention from a man. There are more jerks than good guys. Make the effort to make women friends.